Managers Share The Fastest A New Hire Has Quit Their Job

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Finding a job is an absolute pain. It’s a lengthy process and ultimately, not every job is going to be the right fit. It’s only once you actually start a new job that you realize the work isn’t what you thought it would be.

Managers of the internet took the time to share their stories of when new hires quit their jobs in record time. One prison worker ended up behind bars within a few hours, while a janitor didn’t know cleaning toilets was part of the job. There were also multiple people who went on their lunch break, only to never be seen again. Keep scrolling for some good laughs.

#45 It Only Took Three Minutes

My uncle decided to get a part-time job at a bait store for some extra spending money.

The afternoon manager told him to be there at 8 a.m., but when he showed up at 7:45 a.m. the next day, the morning manager told him that he was 15 minutes late. Apparently, he was expected to be there a half hour before his shift to straighten up the store and restock shelves.

My uncle was back on the road by 7:48 a.m.

LetsChewThis

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#44 And That’s How You Get Promoted From Cashier To Manager

I used to work in a really small grocery store that only had one manager and one cashier working at all times. I submitted my two weeks notice and prior to leaving, I trained the new manager who was going to take my place. The next day after I left, the new manager quit two hours into his first solo shift, leaving the poor cashier behind who had been there for even less time.

GreatFork

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#43 Sounds Like Someone In HR Lost Their Job Too

I needed a new graphic designer in my unit so I told HR and they came back in a couple weeks with someone they had hired. When the new hire met the team, he was really confused. Turns out, he was an accountant, not a graphic designer. They had hired him as an accountant and had asked him lots of accounting-related questions. We called HR and he left with them. I never saw him again. I hope they kept him on as an accountant!

tatsukunwork

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#42 Hablas Español?

I worked at a phone store in a very Hispanic neighborhood. A candidate my manager was interviewing claimed to be fully fluent in Spanish. Once he was hired, he learned pretty quickly that he actually needed to know how to speak Spanish.

In a matter of a few hours, he got super stressed and stormed off. I later found out that he stole a $900 Galaxy S5 with him when he left.

koreamax

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#41 Just Running To The Restroom Real Quick!

I had a number of construction laborers quit on the first day, including several roofing laborers who started at 7 a.m., climbed down the ladder for their 10 a.m. break, and never came back.

Cuddy606

#40 But Where Did He Go For Four Hours?

I hired a delivery driver who was responsible for construction materials. On his first day, he was assigned to drive a 26-foot box truck and make three stops at the local market, about two hours from our warehouse. He left at 7 a.m. and got back at 11:30 a.m.

“Wow, that was really fast,” I told him. He then went outside for some air and told me he’d be right back.

But instead, he got in his car and left. We opened the truck and everything was still there, exactly as loaded. We tried calling him but he wouldn’t answer his phone. We never found out what happened.

For the next six months, anytime anyone in the warehouse was having a bad day, they’d say “I’m going outside for some air.”

Mean_Cup_of_Joe

#39 They Just Needed A Little Time To Prepare

We had a new hire who was a no-show on his first day. About eight months later, he contacted us to say he was ready to come to work.

hatchet338

#38 This Employee Was In A Coma For Four Months

I worked in sales and a new hire never showed up on his second day. He never answered his phone whenever we called so we just figured he quit. Four months later, he called and asked if he could still have the job, because on his way home on his first day he got into an accident and was in a coma! He called us three days after he woke up.

JoeTheImpaler

#37 She Needs Her Beauty Sleep

I used to manage a grocery store. We had to come in at 6 a.m. to prepare the loads and get the store ready for the day. The new hire came in five minutes late on her first day, gave me back her locker key and told me she couldn’t do the job anymore because she had never woken up so early in her life.

ak47ra1der

#36 Good Thing She Was Already At The Prison!

I worked at a prison. We had a woman come in for her first day to do a fingerprint scan, physical exam, and TB test. She had gone down and didn’t come back after four hours, so we called to see what was up. Turns out she was wanted in two states for identity theft and was now being housed at intake.

ICUMTARANTULAS

#35 At Least He Was Honest

On his first day, the new guy came in, picked up his stuff from IT, did the rounds to get introduced and started doing some work.

The next day, we found a note on his desk that read: “My stuff is in the drawer. This isn’t for me.”

We never heard from him again, and never figured out what really happened to him.

momoKB

#34 Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!

We did a tour of the facilities at the manufacturing plant to give us an idea of how hot it can get inside.

On his first day at work, he walked out after 15 minutes because it was apparently “too hot.”

choocheu

#33 Hey, What Did I Miss?

One time, I went on vacation for a week.

When I came back to work, people were talking about a Frank or something. I had no clue who that was, so I asked.

Apparently, he’d been hired, started working, stopped coming in, and was fired in the span of the week that I was on vacation.

dogfart_connoisseur

#32 The Long Drive Cleared Her Head

We hired a girl for a live-in job at a university campus. She was hired and took a four-hour drive down to make it on time for her first day. At some point during her shift, she received job offers from companies that were closer to home. Realizing she had made a huge mistake, she packed her stuff and was gone that evening.

gatesoffire1178

#31 Come On, It Was His DREAM JOB

I went to an interview at my dream company and came home crying because I thought I had BOMBED the interview. I called up a local grocery store that had offered me another job. The next morning, I went in for training. The HR person who was in charge of my looking after me went home without telling me, for six whole hours, I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

Later, I got a phone call from the museum saying I got my dream job. I rushed out of there so fast I had to hang the grocery store apron on the cart return because I accidentally took it with me.

ParadiseSold

#30 “I’m More Of A Manager Personality”

A manager in our company was struggling to hire someone at one location. I bumped into an old friend I used to be a server with, and she said she was unemployed and looking, so I recommended her to my manager.

On her first day she came in and said, “Yeah, this isn’t for me… I have more of a manager personality.” She quit that same day.

anon_2326411

#29 Ok, Goodbye! Enjoy Being An Uber Driver!

We hired a “machinist in training” for our injection mold building division. The guy had run some CNC’s before, but only on a production basis. Basically, we’d need about six months to switch him over.

When he started, we were all busy, so we told him to clean out one of the machines to keep him occupied.

Immediately, he said: “That seems below me. When I drive UBER no one expects stupid chores from me.” He literally made it less than 30 minutes.

Tampaburn

#28 Beth Just Didn’t Have What It Takes

I didn’t get to hire the interns but I had to manage them. My boss had a tendency to only hire pretty women.

There were some great interns and some terrible ones, but when it comes to the latter, Beth takes the cake.

She came in 30 minutes late on her first day. I started to take her through how our business worked, what our industry was like and what she’d be working on. She was on her phone the entire time and got pissed when I told her to put it away. She refused to take notes while I took her through all this.

I sat her down at 10:30 a.m. and asked her to clean a list of our potential clients in Excel. She laughed and said she was getting a coffee, which I assumed was from our office. 45 minutes later, she showed up with a Starbucks and said she was going to go on lunch.

I told her she had already used up her lunch to get her coffee and that she needed to get some work done. She laughed again and left. She didn’t come back the rest of the day. I sent a note to her professor about this.

The next morning, I got a call from her professor apologizing for her behavior and letting me know she had failed her internship.

My boss was super angry. He said to me. “Beth seemed like just the kind of person we need around here.”

Ganglebot

#27 Those Darn Interns

We had an intern who interviewed really well but didn’t end up being a very good employee.

He arrived early on his first day and seemed very positive during the morning induction. We got him set up with a desk and his email account. When it was lunchtime, we told him he had just over an hour and that he was welcome to eat out. He said he would go out and get some lunch and would see us back in a bit.

He never came back. We got really worried — he wouldn’t pick up his mobile, we went looking for him, we emailed him, and then we had to call his emergency contact.

We eventually got a text message from him that just said: ‘Sorry, I don’t think I’ll be coming back.’

SEMHFreya

#26 Seriously, It Was Just An Accident

I work for a popular e-commerce store. On my first day, I was surprised that the company’s headquarters location was pretty run down.

We had a new social media manager start, and on her third day, she went to use the bathroom and accidentally walked in on our copywriter going number two (the bathroom door didn’t always lock properly).

She quickly went back to the main office, grabbed her bag, and we never heard from her again.

quuaartz

#25 Sir, That’s Part Of Your Job Description

We had a guy show up his first day as a janitor and said he would clean everything but not the toilets. He was quickly let go after that.

bjackline

#24 Geez, Cut Him Some Slack

I was hired to work in a stockroom once. I didn’t need a job at the time but fancied the bit of extra money. On my second shift, I was threatened with the sack because I went to the toilet three times during my eight-hour shift. Apparently, I should’ve told them I had a bladder problem on my application. After they brought me in to watch CCTV footage of me heading to the bathroom every few hours, I said NOPE and got out of there quickly.

BoxOfNothing

#23 And They Lived Happily Ever After

We hired a guy at our restaurant. He quit within 30 minutes.

He was lazy and slow, and he quickly realized that we all hustled harder than he was willing.

We ended up calling the next candidate on the list. He showed up 45 minutes later and worked a double.

That guy stayed there for a year and loved his job.

SearchingforSilky

#22 It Was A Long Lunch

I used to work at a community mental health center. One time, we had a new front office person come in for her first day, leave for lunch, and never come back.

NotTodaySatan1

#21 Can’t Like Everything!

At my last temp job, one guy who started at 6:45 am asked if he could go back to his car and grab his coffee that he forgot to bring inside. We all watched him get in his car and drive off. Never came back.

dangobelli

#20 The Pizza Business Is High Stress

I’m a delivery man for a pizzeria and we hire a LOT of high school kids. We open at 11 a.m. and on her first day, a new girl asked the manager if she could walk over to the coffee shop down the block to grab a coffee. He, of course, told her no. She left right after that.

I actually saw her later that week and asked what happened. She said she applied thinking that it would be a “casual” job.

Chojiki

#19 Third Time’s The Charm

I got the “I have to move my car” excuse.

HR came by and asked where the temp was. I told them she was moving her car… and it had been about 20 minutes.

The next temp we hired came in and quit during her lunch break. It was a wild week.

The third one stuck around and she got hired.

YANMDM

#18 Toddler Tables

A couple years back, I was in between getting out of the military and finding a job. I went through a temp service at a call center. It started at 8 a.m., and by 10 a.m. I had enough of seeing people’s desks the size of toddler tables. They never not once looked up and they only gave us one 10-minute break. I got into my car and never looked back.

Luckily, I got a call from the agency saying they found a job for me.

ChanceOntheCrapper

#17 “This Desk Is Not Clean Enough”

I was working at a pharma-manufacturing facility and we were hiring a new HR manager.

She got the job, was shown her desk, and she said, “This desk is not clean enough.”

She immediately turned around and left.

sjraptor

#16 At Least They Didn’t Start Yet

I quit a job the day before my first scheduled shift when the company I was working at offered me significantly more money.

TheWorstePirate

#15 She Just Doesn’t Make Sandwiches

Working at Jimmy John’s: We hired an older woman to be a delivery driver and told her to put on an apron because when she wasn’t driving, she had to make sandwiches in the shop. She said she wasn’t going to make sandwiches and left.

lolsd123

#14 I’d Imagine It Wasn’t Actually About The Salary

I work at an investment bank in London and after interviewing an internal candidate a couple of times, I called her to offer her the job and let her know the salary we could start her off on. She excitedly accepted, and I immediately contacted HR via email to put the official wheels in motion.

An hour later, she called me back to let me know that she had to retract her acceptance as another internal role she’d interviewed for months ago had suddenly called to offer her that role. No mention of salary, just that she preferred the sound of the other role.

A couple of months later I looked her up on the intranet and she was still in her old role, so I’m not sure what happened. Was it a salary negotiation tactic that I didn’t bite into? Maybe the other role fell through? Who knows…

Dajamco

#13 This Employee Went From Zero To 100 In One Day

I was a supervisor at a grocery store a few years back. A guy I knew from high school got a job at my store and a McDonald’s at the same time. He told me that at the end of the month he would quit the job he liked less. The next day, he quit from my store.

I asked him why he wasn’t waiting a month as he planned. Turns out, on his first day at McDonald’s, all of the other people on his shift including the manager went out back for a break and left him running the whole store alone for a couple of hours during the lunch rush.

The owner found out, fired everyone except him, and promoted him to a managerial position. On his first day. He decided he didn’t want to bag groceries after that. I didn’t blame him.

darth_ravage

#12 Life Is Going To Slap Him In The Face Real Hard

This was a few years ago in college when I was still interning. We had a kid start fresh after graduating college and he was gone three days later.

He had never worked a job before except being a camp counselor at a hockey camp. He complained that all anyone ever did at our company was work and that everyone was super old. Yes… All anyone does at a job is work. And the average age of the workers in his department was like, 25.

Itshaft15

#11 To Be Fair, Who Really Wants To Clean Out Bedpans?

There were 10 of us nurses working in a six-floor hospital, with anywhere between six to 10 terminal cleans required on each floor daily. The managers liked to have new hires do working interviews, where they would shadow existing housekeepers.

Unfortunately, management would usually start the candidates on the maternity floor, which was one of the more tame floors (usually only a few drops of blood, if anything). Then, they’d be put to work on the ICU/PCU floor (lots of blood, diapers, and bedpans), the mental health floor (strict safety requirements, regular stuff on the walls, sometimes threats to physical health), or the ER (lots of blood, high turnover with terminal cleans between each patient).

We got to the point where the new hires weren’t showing up after lunch, never to be heard from again. We managed to hire 10 people in a week after a job fair. Three didn’t show after lunch, two didn’t show for their next day of work, four quit after a week, and one stayed just long enough to ride out the two-week notice.

Abaiyachi

#10 Surely There Are Some Labor Laws That Are Supposed To Prevent This

A local catering company was hiring for banquet servers and bartenders. I worked a day job, but needed the extra money and figured this was the perfect opportunity.

I showed up to my shift at 3 p.m., and the event manager showed me around the building. It was absolutely disgusting. I mean, I already knew the bar was kind of on its way out, but I had no idea it was this bad. Slowly, I started to realize that I was the only person who was going to be working this event. It wasn’t a huge deal — I had a ton of experience with banquets; it wasn’t that hard. Then, the woman let me know the event was actually a bat mitzvah with a party of 130 people expected.

I had to set up tables, buffet tables, and the bar in three hours, all by myself. I was literally almost in tears when the host showed up with 30 kids about an hour early. I honestly almost walked out, but I felt awful for the little girl who was having the party.

The event went about as awful as you’d expect. The bar had no fruit or certain mixers and I had to be my own barback. I also had to take bar breaks to work the buffet stations and bus tables. I made about $20 in tips and was covered in food and grenadine.

My breaking point was when five little kids started witching at me for not having any grenadine left. I walked up to the event manager and said “Sorry, I can’t take it, I don’t need this job and I’ve been here for eight hours without a single break. I’m leaving.” To be fair, it was the end of the event and 11 p.m.

I still haven’t gotten paid despite numerous requests.

Atd9856

#9 Sounds Like A Lawsuit Waiting To Happen

In the late ’70s, my dad quit a construction job on his first day.

He was in late high school or so and his employer did property restoration after natural disasters. The supervisor told him and another kid to go into the basement and fortify the foundation without proper safety precautions. My dad told him no. The supervisor threatened a firing. My dad took the firing.

GuidanceInTheDark

#8 Not The Next Meredith Grey

When I was a second-year surgery resident, a new intern came to work. He had already finished a pediatric residency, which meant that for him, residency time could be over and he could work as a pediatrician if he wanted. However, his father was some sort of famous pediatric surgeon and his plan was to now become a general surgeon, and ultimately a pediatric surgeon (after further future fellowship training). He was put on call the very first night.

The next day, I was told that around midnight that he went to the charge nurse and asked: “Are you in charge around here?” When she said yes, he silently handed her his pager and walked out, never to be seen again. I guessed he had enough of residency and certainly didn’t want to be an intern again. Epic.

supertucci

#7 They Said No Tills!

During my interview, I specifically asked not to be placed on the tills and the manager said she’d make sure I wasn’t. My first shift comes around and I get placed on the tills by the manager as all the aisle work was taken. I stayed for four hours before quitting.

Punkroez

#6 No One Likes Telemarketers Anyway

I worked for four hours as a cold calling telemarketer. Never went back, never picked up my check for the work. The managers were the scummiest people I ever met and I was literally the only person on shift who was sober. Everyone else, managers included, was on something.

Commander_Ivanova

#5 Smart Woman

I had a new hire that left after signing the i9 form and just before starting her computer training.

My HR assistant ended up not filing the termination paperwork correctly. A year later, the employee successfully sued for unemployment because we never gave her a schedule and she didn’t know when to come in next.

snarksneeze

#4 “Not My Cup Of Tea”

A start-up, non-profit gig got back to me about environmental work and I figured, why not, that’s what I study. I thought it was office work but it turned out to be day-long canvassing (standing on a busy sidewalk with a clipboard asking people for donations).

I bared through the first day of training, but on the second day when we actually went out to the field, I realized it was not my cup of tea. It was absolutely draining. I quit that night. Not a job for introverts.

mikeyahngelo

#3 It Was A Longer Vacation Than Expected

I used to work in a small mall kiosk when I was a teenager. I told the manager I was going away for a couple weeks in the summertime and he said it was no problem.

I came back and went to the mall and the kiosk had been replaced with a completely different one. They went out of business and closed up shop while I was on vacation. Nobody told me.

deadrobins

#2 She Sounds A Bit Confused

We hired a front desk girl and when she discovered we had HIV patients, she quit before she had to check one in.

How she got through the hiring process without realizing that an HIV clinic has HIV patients is beyond me.

Nikki-is-sweet

#1 Thanks For The Opportunity!

At my very first full-time job, before I had a management role, I came as the replacement for someone who had worked there for about three weeks and just vanished one day. A few days after I had started, someone came in to collect the rest of the person’s things that were left behind. I as handed a note that read: “Sorry, I just wasn’t up to it, thanks for the opportunity.”

Zhirrzh

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