Impressed Bartenders Share The Smoothest Pick-Up Line They’ve Ever Heard Someone Use
Bartenders get to see it all: the love connections, the brutal rejections, the awkward moments, and even some scary situations. They learn a lot about how humans behave and interact with each other because it happens in real-time before their eyes. One of the most entertaining things they witness is people giving their best pick-up lines and seeing if they actually work or not. Bartenders from around the world took to the internet to share the smoothest pick-up lines they’ve ever heard someone use. Watching from across the mahogany, they explain in their stories whether or not the pick-up lines were genius, or if they backfired completely. Read on for some pretty good laughs:
#1 Napkin Love
I married the bartender (She worked at Excalibur in Chicago). We were talking about cooking for one, and she wrote out a recipe on a napkin. I took it and thanked her. I then asked her “Who should I call if I have any questions when making this?” Then she flipped it over and wrote her number on the other side. We were married three years later. I still have that napkin.
#2 Spare Some Quarters?
A homeless man who’d wander in on occasion: “Hey miss, could you spare a couple of quarters?… so I can call you later?” In my experience, you can usually still find a few payphones in the rougher areas of town where you’re likely to have homeless people. I think most of the 7/11s here still have a couple out front. So when I heard him use that pick-up line, I thought it was absolutely genius.
#3 Still Works
I work in a bar. This is the opposite of a smooth pick-up line, but it still worked. I overheard a guy mess up asking a girl out by asking her if she “wanted to go eat a movie sometime.” Her response was, “Sure! I always watch what I eat.” I laughed and there was merriment and a good time was had by all… Props to that girl for the top-notch response.
#4 Third Time’s A Charm
A regular would start a conversation with a girl, wait for the second laugh out of her and then drop the magic…
“When I text you goodnight later, what phone number should I use?”
Cue the third laugh and him getting her number.
#5 Nice Try, Dude
This is how I met my wife. She walked into a bar and a guy three seats over from me said, “Hey, want to go home with me?” My wife said, “That depends, are you any good?” That’s when I leaned over and told her, “I bet that guy tries that with every girl that walks in, and it probably works a couple of times a month.” That was 10 years ago. We’re happily married.
#6 “We Found You A Girlfriend”
I’ve been bartending for about two years and I’ve had my fair share of guys trying their pick-up lines on me (fine by me, I’m not interested in guys anyway and it gives me a laugh) but the one and only guy I’ve ever taken a number from had done this.
He was just generally funny all night. He said something about a suggestion box so I gave him a piece of paper and a pen as a joke, telling him to write it down. He left pretty early, then he gave me his “suggestion” on the way out. I opened it up and it said something like, “I suggest you call me,” with his number on it. I’m not going to lie, it was pretty funny with the right amount of smooth. I ended up texting him “Goodnight princess.” Nothing ever came of it, but he did a pretty good job.
I did meet my current girlfriend while working though!! No lame pickup lines, just a couple friends yelling at me over the bar: “WE FOUND YOU A GIRLFRIEND” … they were right.
#7 Making Them Blush
I was in another country with friends, and I asked the waitress where the best bar in around was. When she started saying “Oh, it depends on what you like,” I asked her which one I’d likely find her at. My friends thought it was very smooth. I guess she did too.
#8 Blushworthy Encounter
During my first month of bartending, I had a girl quickly finish two cosmos. I came up and asked her how she was doing.
“I’d have another one, but you’d have to take me home.”
Her group of friends got a nice laugh when I blushed.
#9 No Words Necessary
I saw two people hook up without even saying anything to each other. They were looking at each other from across the bar. He raised an eyebrow, she half-smiled and nodded. They met in the middle and it was on. They didn’t even buy another drink. I know they did not know each other as the guy is my cousin.
#10 Just A Lucky Guy
My buddy was visiting me at my college. The moment he walks in and gets to the bar, he takes a seat and tries to order a drink while he waits for me since I’m still getting my ID checked. Two girls literally ambush him the second he sits down. All they say to him is: “You have really smooth skin.” One minute later, he’s going back to my apartment with two babes.
#11 The Game-Changing Self Pact
When I was younger, I had terrible social skills. I felt like there was a game being played and I didn’t know any of the rules. And I was very concerned that I wouldn’t have the skills to attract the right person for me in the future, whenever I might encounter her. (I didn’t even kiss a girl until I was 19, and was a virgin until 21).
So when I turned 21, I basically made a pact with myself, that at least twice a week, I’d go out to local bars, and I’d talk to at least two people when I’d go out (just people, guys or girls). There were a lot of open bars where I lived, so it was easy to go out at no real cost other than my time. Some nights sucked and I wished I was at home playing video games. A few nights were awesome. And gradually I learned the rules of the game, and I ended up getting some cool friends and strange stories along the way.
Roughly ten years later I moved to a new city and went out that night with a cousin and her group of friends. I made out with two girls, got two numbers, made plans with a girl to hook up the following day, and then, just as I was about to leave the bar after a rather successful first night in the city, I met my future wife. She was with a group of people, including a horrible guy that was giving me major attitude, but I got about 10 quality minutes in with a good conversation and a few smooth tricks I’d learned (a touch on the arm at the right moment does wonders). I made enough of an impression that when I left the bar, she texted me a little later asking if I wanted to head by her place. And she’d made enough of an impression that I married her (not right then, but eventually).
Four years later, I occasionally think back to the foresight I had to force myself to practice conversation, picking people up, and the general rules of social engagement. I absolutely wouldn’t have been with this amazing girl, the love of my life and my best friend, had it not been for countless hours of awkward silences and nervous moves.
#12 Patent Leather Pants
I once saw a girl go up to a fellow in a goth club and ask him if he washed his clothes in Windex. He was supposed to say no so she could say, “That’s weird, ’cause I sure can see myself in your pants!” Trouble was, he was wearing patent leather pants, and excitedly answered “Yes! Aren’t they shiny?” Her line was ruined, but they left together anyway.
#13 For The Love Of Queso
I heard this one while closing down a couple of weeks back.
“Come on, let’s go back to my place, I’ll make you a quesadilla.”
This girl had been swatting guys away like flies all night but that one worked out.
#14 Legendary Move
I saw this happen at a bar. I was sitting at a table with two of my friends, one girl, one guy. Some guy I had never seen before came over, placed three drinks, one in front of each of us and proceeded to talk to my female friend. I assumed it was just one of her friends I hadn’t met. It took me a solid five minutes to figure out this guy was a stranger and then I was blown away with how smooth of a move that was.
#15 So Smooth It’s Criminal
I bartended in college. A guy walked up to a girl at the bar and goes, “Hi, my name is Ben, and I’m going to buy you drinks until you find me attractive.” The girl smiled and laughed, then he asked what she would like to drink. She looked him over (he was already very attractive), turned to me and said: “In that case, I’ll have a water.” He definitely got it that night.
#16 Cupcake Couple
A girl once bet that if she could fit an entire one of the cupcakes we sold in her mouth without using her hands, I would have to give it to her for free. She did, so I let her have it for free. I was so impressed, I gave her a free drink too. Six years later, we’re still together eating cupcakes and doing bets like that.
#17 Fake It ‘Til You Make It
I bartend in a pub next to a college campus. I watched a guy say, “That’s interesting” or “Oh man, that’s crazy!” for a full hour and a half before leaving with a girl way out of his league. Fake it ’til you make it, ladies and gentlemen.
Not so much a pickup line, but I bartend at a big college bar and when you wordlessly hand your friend a beer when the bar is swamped and he just got there, it makes him look that much cooler to whatever girl he’s talking to. You don’t even have to be friends with a bartender for this to work. Just showing up somewhere and having someone hand you a drink always enhances coolness.
#19 Who Took The Bait?
I work at a bar in Long Beach, NY. A female customer was giving me advice on how to hit on my bartender co-worker who is a very close friend of mine. She kept feeding me “adorable” things to say to my friend because she thought we looked cute together. I thanked her and took one step toward my friend then turned back and repeated everything. She took the bait and it landed me back at her place.
#20 It’s Really That Simple
Not while I was at work, but I was on a late train once and watched a tipsy woman chat a guy into getting off at the next stop to go to a pub that “had a jazz band on tonight.” I know the pub she named and I know full well there was no jazz band on that night. That lady was hot and that guy was super lucky. It’s really that simple for some people.
#21 Tipsy Love
I saw an extremely tipsy girl hanging out at the bar once. By hanging, I mean she was literally leaning against the bar just to barely stay up. That’s when an extremely tipsy guy stumbled into her. I’d say that’s when their eyes met and they discovered true love, but it’s hard to say since they both had their eyes barely open and glossed over by slight alcohol poisoning. They both then grunted into each other’s general directions and proceeded to make out or eat each other’s faces off, I can’t really tell.
#22 She Keeps Coming Back
One night, my coworker’s friends came in with this guy—I guess they were just out with him. Anyway, they all closed down the bar and they started to leave while she cleaned up the bar. She saw he left his phone, so she ran out and gave it to him. Fast forward a few weeks and the same thing happens. Well apparently, he did it a third time after and she ran out saying something like, “Why do you keep forgetting your phone?!” He said something along the lines of, “Well, this is really the only alone time I get with you.” A few dates and about a year later, they’re happily married!
#23 Mr. Steal Yo Girl
A good friend of mine was at the bar and he’s a pretty stingy guy so he doesn’t spend too much when out on the town. He also usually doesn’t get too tipsy. So yeah, my friend’s been at the bar all night, chatting to friends and other random patrons, and there was this total babe sitting on the other side of the bar from him who’d been eyeing him all night. I have no idea if he was even aware of her or not. She’d been sitting there for ages, sort of waiting for something to happen, just sipping on her lolly-drink. No dudes had bothered to approach her or anything so far.
This kept up for a bit, and then this buff, scary-looking guy came to the bar, totally wasted, and asked me for a drink. He also asked me quietly what the hot lady’s been drinking all night and told me to get her another one. He paid up and went to the bathroom or someplace.
I gave the lady the drink and told her it was compliments of a gentleman admire and she just looked straight at my friend! Being the total miser that he is, he just nodded at her and cracked a sly grin! She walked up to him and they started chatting, then two minutes later, they left together.
Meanwhile, the big guy came back and saw the lady missing. He shrugged, then promptly ordered himself another drink.
#24 Divorced Man’s Confidence
Not a bartender, but I hooked up with one once. It was closing time and she said, “If you don’t work here or if you aren’t banging the staff, time to leave!” I leaned over and said, “I guess I’m staying,” with the confidence only a recently divorced man could have. It worked, oddly enough.
#25 The Benefits Of Sign Language
Not a bartender but I was at a bar with three friends a few years ago. One of the waitresses was deaf. We watched a guy go up to her and sign some stuff to her. She smiled and excitedly wrote something down, handed it to him and walked away. He walked by us, showed us the number and said, “Four years of sign language in high school finally paid off for once.”
#26 That Was Easy
A coworker tried to start a game of tic-tac-toe with a pretty girl by drawing an empty board on a napkin and handing her the pen. She just wrote down her phone number.
#27 Plastic Roses
Not a pick-up line, but this is the smoothest thing I’ve seen from behind the mahogany. This guy was hitting on this girl at the end of the bar. She asked him, “You gonna bring me some roses?” This man took two straws, a napkin, and a lighter and, I kid you not, he made a rose with it. You bet your butt she left with him. Kudos, sir.
#28 Exploiting Misfortune
Not a bartender, but I was sitting alone at a bar and heard a guy say this to the girl next to me: “You look like a night of disappointment and week of dodged phone calls.” I didn’t hear the rest of the conversation, but they left together.
#29 Well, That Backfired
A guy sat down next to a woman at the bar. She was obviously not interested. Then, he said, “I may not be the best looking guy here, but I’m the only one talking to you. You should try lowering your standards. I just did.” She threw her drink in his face and slapped him. Always keep your mouth open when insulting a woman. Free drinks!
#30 Pick-up Limes
Step one: Write your phone number on lime.
Step two: Identify an attractive person.
Step three: Hand lime to the attractive person and tell him or her it’s a “pickup lime.”
Step four: Don’t take dating advice from me.
#31 Zero Chance
Well, I’m a bartender, and so far, “We’re closing up, but if you want another drink, I live upstairs” has worked exactly 0% of the time. Maybe it’s because I don’t actually live upstairs.
#32 Take My Breath Away
I worked at a beach bar. I watched a young guy walk up to a smoking hot, tanned, female lifeguard and say, “Help, I can’t breathe.”
She was legitimately concerned and asked him what was wrong.
He said, “Looking at you takes my breath away.”
She was angry for a second, then began to laugh. They talked for a little then exchanged numbers.
#33 Cougar Hunting
Warning: this was back when I had no shame. I was 25 and at a notorious cougar hangout. A woman walked up next to me at the bar wearing a flashing “50” badge and I noticed there was a faded tan line where the ring had been on her hand. I’d seen her and her friends earlier and there were only a few of them left. I checked her out properly and she was a stunning 50. So I said, “Excuse me, can I get you a man half your age for your birthday?” She just looked at me. I said, “I’ll be waiting out front.” I wasn’t waiting long.
#34 The Anti-Pickup Line
Sort of an anti-pickup line, but I witnessed a tipsy girl get decimated at the bar one night. She was hot, and one of those “Haha, you’re cute, you should buy me a drink,” type of girls. Some dumpy-looking dude walked up to the bar and ordered a Corona. She pulled the whole “And put a rum and coke on there for me,” insinuating that he should buy her next drink. He looked at her casually and said, “Make it a rum and diet,” and then just walked away. I was speechless. I’d never seen him before and haven’t seen him since. Sometimes I wonder if he ever existed at all.
#35 UFC Connection
I bartended in college. My buddies came to visit during a UFC fight. One of them, after a few Crown and sprites, walks up to a very attractive woman (definitely not a student) and asks “If you were a pirate would you put a parrot on this shoulder (pointing at her shoulder closest to him) or this shoulder?” (reaching his arm around her to the other shoulder). They left together right after that.
#36 How To Get A Dog
I met my current girlfriend while working behind a bar. She got way too tipsy so the next time she came up to ordered a drink, I gave her a pint of water and told her she had enough. Her response? “Well if you’re not going to give me a drink, at least give me your number.” We have a dog now.
#37 Breaking The Ice
I was working at a decent bar downtown and one of my attractive female co-workers sat down to have a drink. About 20 minutes later, a guy sat down fairly close to her (even though the bar was fairly empty), and ordered a gin and soda. He would sit and glance over at my friend until she would look at him and he’d turn away without saying anything. This happened about three or four times until she finally asks, “Can I help you?” The guy looked her dead in the eye, smiled charmingly, reached into his glass, took out an ice cube, placed it on the bar, then smashed it into pieces with his glass. He then said, “Now that I’ve broken the ice, can I buy you a drink?”
I’ve never seen her laugh so hard. It probably would have worked if she didn’t have a boyfriend.
#38 Asking For Help
I work in a bar and restaurant in San Francisco and these two Australian girls came in. One had a boyfriend and she said, “I plan on getting so tipsy that I get carried home tonight.” The single girl then turned to me and said, “Maybe you could help me carry her?”
#39 The Bowtie Wiggle
I met my girlfriend working at a bar. The dress code was terrible, all black with white suspenders and a white bow tie. She was wearing an adorable dress with a bow in her hair. The music was super loud so I just pointed to her hair, wiggled my bow tie, and winked. About 20 mins later, I got her phone number. We’ve been together for almost four years.
#40 That’s Genius
I was a bartender in a college town. The best one I heard was when a guy approached a girl at the bar.
Guy: “Hey, it looks like you dropped something!”
Girl: ” Really? What?”
Guy “Your standards, hi I’m Mike.
The girl laughed so hard she spilled her drink and he bought her a new one.
#41 The Pick-Up Line Book
This guy came in wearing a weird red romper. It wasn’t so much what he was saying but the quantity. He pulled out a book and read them off as fast as he could, not letting her get a word in. By God, it worked.
#42 She’s Lenient
“I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers.”
I was bartending at the Legion. She was a nice lady.
#43 Backpack Trick
I borrowed my friends’ tiny backpack, put it on, and asked a woman at the bar, “Does this make my butt look fat?” It was literally the only time I’ve ever gotten a woman’s phone number at a bar.
#44 Too Straightforward
This line worked on me; I’m the bartender in this situation. A guy buys a drink for himself and the girl next to him. I ring him up and as I’m handing him the receipt, the girl looks me dead in the eyes and says, “I was just telling him how you look like you probably have a really nice piece.”
I literally didn’t know how to react, and as I’m standing there, she kind of slaps this dudes arm and was like, “Tell him I’m serious.” He just nods, clearly not knowing how to react either, but confirming that she had, in fact, told him that I looked like I probably had a nice piece.
She hung around my corner of the club until close and then asked me straight up if I’d be interested in coming home with her, and said if I wasn’t then no worries, have a good night. It was so direct and to the point that I had no issue going home with her. So I did and we’ve met up a couple more times since.
#45 “You Are”
My friend once walked up to a girl and said: “Tell me I’m not the best looking guy you’ve ever seen.” She just looked at him and said: “You actually are.” Then she started making out with him.