These Utterly Insane High School Stories Take Drama To The Next Level
High school can be the best time of our lives—or the very worst. Insane pranks. Indecent affairs. Chilling disappearances. As these stories prove, when things go down in a building full of hormonal teens, they can range from the absolutely hilarious to the utterly disturbing. At least we know high school is always good for one thing: drama.
#1 These Ain’t Pringles
A kid in the year above me decided, mid class, that he needed to “drop the kids off at the pool.” The teacher wouldn’t let him go, so he decided to move to the back of the classroom and poop in an empty Pringles can. After dropping the log, he went around offering out “Pringles” to people. One kid stuck his hand in blind and got a handful of poop.
Somehow, it got worse. The kid was unsurprisingly ticked off, and threw the handful of poop at the kid who had the can. There was a whole fight and poop was thrown over the whole room. It all had to be industrially cleaned, and even after that, it still stank in there.
#2 Only on Thursdays
A kid on the football team claimed to have been hazed by getting a broomstick shoved up his you-know-where. It made news all over the place. Coaches were fired, there was a huge investigation and everything. But that wasn’t even the craziest part. Eventually, they found out the kid made it all up just to spite some of the people he accused.
#3 Merry Christmas
Some boys in the saxophone section of the marching band made a Christmas card featuring them naked except for Santa hats—and their saxophones covering their sacs. They distributed them to the whole band, which at our school was a pretty large number of people. School tried to confiscate them for being lewd, but of course, they couldn’t get them all. Besides, people had camera phones and Facebook.
#4 Work Hard, Party Hard
This weird kid always carried around a briefcase, but never opened it. Sat on the briefcase during lunch, classes, etc. It was like the nuclear football, always in his hand or he was sitting on it. He carried it onto the stage during graduation, got his diploma, and right as he was leaving the stage, he opened it up. When he did, something amazing happened.
He dumped a bunch of confetti on the principal. I guess it was the long-con? No one questioned why he was carrying it on stage.
#5 Two Wrongs
This happened in my sophomore year of high school so I wasn’t there to see it happen. Apparently some kid walked into a class and shouted, “What crap are we learning today!?!?” The teacher’s reaction was bone-chilling: she backhanded him right across his face. After that, she was forced to retire early.
#6 A Sad Waste
At my high school, seniors had to do a senior project. It can be anything really. Just plan it out and follow through. A very popular and well-liked senior made an end of day announcement that the next morning he’d be in the student parking lot working on it and needs as many other folks there as possible. The next day he drives into the student parking lot, sets up a tripod and a camera.
A large crowd gathered round, just about 30 minutes before the first bell. He hit record and thanked everyone for showing. Then he reached into his car, pulled out a piece, and ended his life before anyone could react. No one knows why. He was a great guy with a bright future. Never know what struggles others are going through. I think about it frequently and take that into consideration to try and be nice to others with random acts of kindness.
#7 Primped & Groomed
We had a teacher, Mr. A, who was very strict, very serious, very high regard for himself, very Italian. This man rocked the thickest mustache I had ever seen. Nothing “fancy,” no handlebars or waxed works of art. Just a full, glorious ‘stache that Burt Reynolds would envy. We had been working with fun fur (thick & bushy fur) for an art project. Another kid and I jokingly made faux mustaches out of it and used double-sided tape to wear them.
The art teacher, who was young and new to the profession, kinda-sorta dared us to wear them to Mr. A’s class. We went one step further. We made mustaches for everyone. Mr. A typically strode into the classroom with disregard for all of us until he had written whatever was important for that day on the board. Somehow a class full of dumb 9th graders managed to keep our heads down and not laugh.
We waited for that moment when he turned to face us…It could not have been more perfect. The absolute stunned look on his face, followed by the loudest not laugh, but straight out guffaw. He loved it and insisted we keep them on for the whole class. Almost 20 years later and that moment is still clear as day in my memory.
#8 Love the Smell of Cabbage in the Morning
Two guys in my year decided to bring about 50 cabbages into school and start a cabbage fight in the science corridor. Madness ensued, cabbage leaves everywhere. About 100 students joined in.
#9 The Mad Pooper Strikes
Someone took a massive poop in the boy’s bathroom. Like huge. Like so big that there is still a debate about whether or not the poop was actually human or if it was snuck in somehow. It was so notable that everyone from my consumer economics class got up individually to go to the bathroom and drop their jaw in awe at the absolute spectacle that was this poop.
Multiple jokes were made about it at school events, and to this day no one knows who did the poop.
#10 Like Taking Candy From a Baby
When I was in middle school, over 14 years ago, our principal got apprehended in school for stealing kids’ Adderall and Ritalin. This was back when if you took medicine, you had to go to the office to have it given to you. Parents were wondering why their kids’ meds were running out before the script ended when it was being given to their kids by the staff.
They installed cameras without his knowledge and caught him.
#11 One-Armed and Dangerous
At the student vs. faculty basketball game, everyone is in the gymnasium. It’s a pretty friendly game for the most part, but there was some decent competition. It was my senior year and our class clown was the announcer for this basketball game. One of the faculty members who was playing only had one arm. One-armed faculty member (Mr. X) comes into the game off the bench and immediately hits a 3-point jump shot.
During the inbound play, one-armed faculty member steals the ball and proceeds to make another basket. Class clown, who has been announcing the game, lets out this gem: “And Mr. X is single-handedly taking over this ball game!” The game literally had to be stopped as people were laughing too hard. It caused a bit of an awkward exchange between the student and teacher but was the best timing on a joke I’ve ever heard.
#12 What a Gas
Someone decided to let off a canister of pepper spray. Me and a group of friends discovered it had been set off in a stairway where we used to hang at break time because we were choking and coughing nonstop. Alerted staff, but it wasn’t until lunchtime when we came back from the gym that there were police, ambulances, and helicopters all over the school.
They didn’t know what the gas was and suddenly everyone needed to be seen by a doctor and was kept inside the classrooms. Parents were turning up and creating a mob outside. Two dads got into a fight near the authorities’ helicopter that had landed in our field and got locked up. News crews turned up and everything.
#13 You Win This Time
I went to a private school where you weren’t allowed to have your phone on you. One day the vice principal bursts into a classroom and says in a panic, “Quick, I need to use someone’s phone!” 10 kids got detention and their phones confiscated. Screw you, Mr. Kiefer.
#14 What Do You Expect?
My high school did a “block lunch” where everyone ate lunch at the same time instead of separating them into A, B, C lunches. Because our cafeteria couldn’t fit the entire student body, it was normal for kids to be eating in the hallway, on the floor, or at tables all throughout the school. One day during lunch, unbeknownst to the staff and student body, our assistant principal decided to hold a lockdown drill.
He got on the intercom and told everyone there was an active shooter in the cafeteria in order to see how kids would react had it been a real shooting. It turned into pure anarchy. Kids calling 9-1-1, running out of school and not returning to class after the drill was over, kids having anxiety attacks while hiding in classrooms, dying calls from students to parents. It was pretty bad.
But that wasn’t the worst part. Did I mention this was several days after the Parkland Shooting?
#15 Scheduled Anarchy
The biggest incident was when my school decided to get rid of block scheduling. It was basically taking four classes for the first part of the year and then four different classes in the second part so a total of eight classes per school year. When the school district decided to get rid of block scheduling and go to traditional six classes per day all year the students protested.
This text went around to almost every student in the school. Almost the entire student body gathered in the middle of the school for a “peaceful protest.” It ended up with kids running wildly from the authorities who were fully suited up in riot gear, and kids getting hit with a Taser. It was definitely an event.
#16 Banana Man Who?
Banana man. Literally a guy ran across the field during the middle of the homecoming football game in a banana suit. The fallout—and I’m not making a word of this stuff up—was a “Zero tolerance policy” for talking about the event, bananas themselves, and a ban on the color yellow altogether. It was the most glorious insanity I have ever witnessed.
#17 Britain’s Worst Schools
The first thing that comes to mind? This guy took a massive dump off the top floor of a massive stairwell. Later, in the same stairwell, someone dropped a pressurized can of soda, cracking open a teacher’s skull. Another time, someone brought in a decommissioned WWI authentic stick grenade. The entire school was evacuated onto one yard for four hours while the explosive squad came to check it out.
Our school’s councilor, who took kids out of lessons to help with low self-esteem, ended his own life. That one’s a bit sad. Also, our drama teacher got sent to the slammer for convincing two 14-year-old students to hook up while he watched. He still works there. And a music teacher got sacked for coming in drunk, not once, but twice. I love lower class Britain.
#18 Silent Disco For One
This guy had headphones on during class and was jamming out hard. The teacher noticed and went over to him and told him to empty his pockets for his phone. When the guy pulled out the headphone cord, I couldn’t believe what I saw. It wasn’t connected to anything. The kid was rocking out to nothing. The teacher’s face was full of confusion and awkwardness.
This happened in the early 90s, before the internet. There was a student-teacher (an education major from university doing her practicum in the classroom) in her early 20s that some of the seniors ran into at the bar one night. The drinking age is 18 where I live. Lots of drinking happened, and she went back to a party afterward and got photographed hooking up with two of the students.
Photocopies of the Polaroid flooded the school. She was gone pretty much immediately, the administration swept it all under the rug. Anyone caught with a copy of the Polaroid was threatened with expulsion.
#20 With Great Power
A football player with the last name “Parham” got punished for something and was no longer allowed to walk the stage for graduation. One day, a friend of his pulled up in a truck outside of the cafeteria during lunch, slammed on the brakes, jumped out, and proceeded to sprint inside. He streaked through half the cafeteria with a Spider-Man mask on and “Free Parham” painted on his bare butt.
Staff tried to grab him and stop him, and despite him literally slipping on a piece of food and falling, he escaped valiantly—as any hero should. Eventually, Parham was once again allowed to walk the stage, although I’m sure the stunt wasn’t the only reason for it.
#21 You Didn’t See Anything
In senior year, we received our yearbooks the week of graduation. To our surprise, the full-page action shot for men’s soccer showcased our player jumping up and lifting one leg to trap and control the ball. Unfortunately, he forgot to wear underwear that game, and the tip of his wiener was fully visible sticking out of the bottom of his shorts. Our school had over 4,000 students. Their hilarious—and stupid—solution?
We were required to bring our yearbook into security to have the offending part of the image sharpied over, or we would not be allowed to walk at graduation.
Over Christmas break of my sophomore year in high school, our principal was pulled over with more than twice the authorized BAC. Instead of being immediately taken to the slammer as he should have been, he was escorted home. Over the next week, he was on almost every local news station, and even got a minute or two segment on CNN. Needless to say, the faculty didn’t think it was a laughing matter, but the students found it hilarious.
They spent the remaining weeks of break having t-shirts made saying things like, “I partied with Dr. S and lived.” Good times…
#23 Not a Drill
It was the last day for the senior class. There were only two significant pranks that day. The principal’s office was filled with balloons and glitter, and the main hallway entrance was saran-wrapped. About an hour before the day ended, the principal came over the loudspeaker and said that anyone caught participating in a prank would not walk at the graduation ceremony.
About a minute after he said this, the fire alarm went off. A guy who was near the principal said that he got angry and said out loud, “Someone’s not walking,” before storming off. He was so, so wrong. An entire wing of the school was hazy and smoke was pouring out of a classroom. Turns out the science teacher was doing a laser experiment for his class and created too much smoke with a smoke machine. The alarm was totally justified.
#24 Large Double-Double, Please
At the end of the day, there was an officer’s car at the front of the school. Someone said they saw a kid get apprehended when they went to the washroom. At the end of the day, a cop and the principal were standing at both back-passenger windows talking to someone inside. We all just assumed that someone was getting apprehended for selling illegal substances or something.
The next day my homeroom teacher told us between third and fourth periods, a former student who was about 20 years old blended in with students and snuck into the school hallways. He wandered through the hallways stealing from unlocked lockers and actually took about 10 laptops from teachers’ classrooms somehow. They ended up catching him at the Tim Horton’s down the road.
Not sure what’s gonna happen to him, but someone said his mom was his getaway vehicle a couple of blocks down the road. He just had to stop at Timmy’s first. Only in Canada do people have to stop for a coffee and a donut mid-crime spree.
#25 An Ear for Many
I didn’t transfer in until after it happened, but I had a classmate who was in the room when it happened. In our ninth-grade year (1989-1990), one of the guys in the theater/drama class had been threatening self-harm and to hurt friends and classmates. My classmate and all her friends went to the teacher and principal but were told they could do nothing because he had no “history” and therefore, he had to “do something” first.
He did. He walked in mid-class, took the entire room (including my classmate and her friends who had reported his threats) hostage, brandished a piece around repeatedly, then shot one of their mutual friends who was trying to talk him down. The kid lost his ear, but not his life, thankfully. My classmate was still giving depositions two years later when I met her, which is how I heard the story.
#26 The Cobra Charmer
When I was in high school, our hick town school had a “gang” called the Cobras who would spray paint “Cobras” on school property, write it on desks, in the bathrooms, basically everywhere. It’s was dumb and many of the students had a good idea who was a part of this “gang,” but the teachers didn’t. Anyway, for the yearbook every year, the principal would use the announcement system to call for individual groups like the sports teams or drama club to have their group pics taken. This happened throughout the year.
One day, they called down the Cobras for a school photo for the yearbook, to try and figure out who they were. They caught almost half the students who were defacing school property because they actually were dumb enough to show up for the “group photo.”
#27 The Cover-Up
To run for student office, you had to get a petition signed by a certain number of people. There was a kid running who was liked pretty well among the school and was the only returning cabinet member. He was considered the overwhelming favorite for ASB president. However, the teacher in charge of overseeing ASB disqualified his candidacy because some of his signatures weren’t legible. This was the first time something like this had happened.
The girl he was supposed to run against was that teacher’s favorite student. I ended up writing an article for the school paper about the situation and several other similar situations that this teacher was involved in. It was blocked from being published.
#28 Changing Everything
Two interconnected incidents. I was in high school at the time that Hong Kong transferred back to China. If you had come to my high school three or four years before the transfer, you would have seen maybe a 5% Chinese student population. But it jumped suddenly, like, up to about 50% in my junior year, and stayed that way. We had all these Chinese students, all from Hong Kong, suddenly transfer to my high school, in a suburb of Toronto.
I’d say about half of those kids were there without their parents, living with other families. Their parents were expected to come later, probably after the transfer back to China had been completed. For some reason that I never fully understood, it was a known thing that these kids usually had cash on them. Like, a lot of cash. I never really checked personally, but we used to talk about how they would have at least $1,000 in their wallets every day.
Anyway, the first incident was that a kid from another school came into our school one day and found the first Chinese student he saw and beat him with a pipe and took his wallet. The reason I think of this as “the incident,” is that it was the reason our school suddenly started locking the doors, and you had to get in before a certain time otherwise you couldn’t get into the school without buzzing in and the office knowing you were late.
We had security guards walking around all of a sudden. It totally changed the atmosphere of the school. The second incident happened the year after I graduated from high school. I was back home for vacation and all our little suburbia was talking about was the principal of my high school being investigated for exploitation. Apparently, she had been taking regular trips to Hong Kong, and somehow convincing parents there to pay her insane amounts of money and she would make sure their kids got into her school.
It was a public school! All you needed to do to get in was live in the right neighborhood and be of school age. No one should be paying to go to a public school—beyond any regular taxes, anyway. I’m honestly not entirely sure of what kind of lies she told these poor people, and I’m not sure if it had anything to do with why their kids were there without their parents and why they had so much cash on them all the time.
Regardless—she exploited a whole bunch of people. It was pretty big news.
#29 Worse Than Expected
This kid was doing pull-ups on a door frame in our woodshop and some of his friends thought it would be funny to place a pipe bender under his butt. When he finished his pull-ups and dropped off the frame, the pipe bender went straight up his butt and tore his rectum open. The kid didn’t graduate because he spent so much time in the ER. Now he has to poop in a bag.
#30 Keeping Secrets
First, there was the German teacher (who was extremely hot) at my high school. He was married to an English teacher and decided to cheat. He decided to cheat with the cheerleading coach, who was also a teacher at the same school. Most teachers had student assistants, and the assistants very much liked German teacher. He had his computer connected to his phone.
The assistant to the German teacher saw risqué pics and text from the cheerleading coach, and she even took screenshots. The whole school knew before the English teacher. She found out in the middle of a class when she found a printout of the text. The teachers got divorced and the cheer coach also got dumped by her boyfriend. All three still work at the same school.
The second story involves a senior. There was a rumor circulating that she was pregnant. Well, she had clearly gained weight, but she didn’t look pregnant. Her ex-boyfriend’s mom brought it to the attention of the school, and she was able to provide a letter from a doctor stating she was not pregnant. The letter was actually required because she was supposed to go on a trip with her school choir group to Russia.
Lo and behold, once in Russia, she went to the doctor due to stomach pain. The stomach pain turned out to be full-blown labor, that resulted in a baby boy. It was a big mess. Her parents refused to fly out and our principal actually had to fly out to Russia since the rest of the group was supposed to fly out the day after she had given birth. It turns out the letter that she turned into school had been falsified by her mother, who was aware that her daughter was indeed pregnant.
The principal had to stay there with her and the baby until both were able to fly back and get the appropriate paperwork. Upon returning to school she was expelled, and the principal sued her and her parents for all expenses. Her mom’s reasoning was that she was a senior and she wasn’t going to miss the most important days of her life just because she was pregnant.
#31 Kisses! -A.
Super weird story, but some random Facebook account popped up threatening to attack the school if this one girl didn’t fess up for something she had done. No one knew who it was, and the girl allegedly had no idea what she was supposed to fess up about. The threats continued, and the Facebook account started posting naughty videos/pictures they had taken, censoring the nakedness, but giving people an idea that there had been intimate contact with the girl.
The school ended up going on Christmas break like three days early while the school district tried to figure out how to move forward. There was a town hall meeting that a parent brought a piece to, which created quite a stir. Feds kept looking into it. Accusations were made, but each student was released on lack of evidence. The Facebook account progressed into basically taunting authorities that they couldn’t catch him.
But then, it got even crazier. My wife and I were at Red Robin one night and the account posted that it heard the girl was at the mall across the street, and that a lot of people were about to lose their lives. From Red Robin, we watched the authorities converge onto the mall. The girl wasn’t there, and neither was a guy with arms of any sort.
The Facebook account ceased activity at a certain point after an admission that he was some guy in Minnesota or something that just picked a random school, girl, and town to screw with. A few months ago, an arrest was finally made, and it was some dude in California. But man…it took forever for them to crack that case.
#32 Caught Red Handed
When I was a sophomore at an all-girls boarding school, someone had taken my package from the school post office in a string of package thefts over the course of a week or so. My package was full of knitting supplies that I needed for a class to finish my final project. One day, I saw this notoriously weird girl knitting in the hallway. At first, I actually thought it was cool she picked up knitting.
But then I made a chilling realization. They were the same needles and yarn I had ordered. I went to her room and knocked on the door. The doors had fogged windows and old school latches without locks. It was typical to tap the latch and lean your head into each other’s rooms. As I looked in, I saw another project with the other yarn I ordered!
I came back later and she was there. I simply said, “Hey, look, I know you took my package. I really need it for class so if you give it back, I won’t tell anyone you took it.” She burst into tears and asked how dare I accuse her and that some friend sent her those knitting supplies. So, I said I’d have to report her and left.
During study hall that night, one of the dorm parents came to my room. She told me I was in trouble for accusing the girl of stealing and that I should be ashamed and apologize. I told her I was sure she had been responsible for stealing all the packages. I put together all my order info with photos and told them I saw her with all of it.
The next day, we were called to an all-school emergency assembly. The school dean announced that right then, while everyone was accounted for, they were doing “random” room searches. They searched her room first and found EVERYTHING. I mean every single thing that people were missing for the two years she was there.
She was hauled off to a locked room in the health center and sent away. The faculty had to pack her things and try to recover taken items, but most of it got thrown out. She had a collection of “toys” that she’d taken. One of the most remarkable finds was the credit card that belonged to another girl’s dad. She’d lifted it from his wallet over parents’ weekend.
She even took my Reuben sandwich from the hall fridge one time—this still ticks me off. She had a lot of compulsive disorders, apparently. Her roommate mysteriously left the school over Thanksgiving break and no one ever heard from her again. I’m pretty sure we know why now.
#33 The Last Straw
I was a teacher and a very good kid just got pushed to his limit by a mean teacher. He had been teased by this teacher for a couple of years; never did find out what was up with that. So the mean teacher says something to the kid, and the kid runs out to his car, grabs a crowbar, and comes in smashing all the glass he encountered. It was safety glass, but there were lots of shards anyway.
The kid tries to go after the teacher to end his life. He got trapped in the library (the classroom was located in a small classroom off the library) and I was right next door, keeping kids in their seats and unable to go to the bathroom for about 90 minutes. Authorities began arriving from all directions since we were right off two state highways.
State authorities, canine units, etc. The kid destroyed all this beautiful 1940s oak shelving, the teacher’s desk, and anything that would break. His mom shows up and disarms him. The kid gets slammed on a stretcher and hauled off to the nearby AFB, where his dad worked. Not sure exactly what all happened there, but he got a lifetime ban from being at the high school and a serious restraining order from ever contacting or being near the mean teacher.
I liked the kid, never had one tiny bit of trouble with him. I saw him a couple of months later and asked him to please tell me if he was ever mad at me. He laughed. The kid was diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder. He went on to be a good adult. He’d just kind of lost it that day.
#34 Hot for Teacher
One of the English teachers had been hooking up with a few select students every year. Most were football players. It got really weird. When I had her class, it wouldn’t be out of place if a student from another class asked to go to the bathroom and just went to her room to see her. One day some kid brought her a drink from McDonald’s because he was late to school and got breakfast.
It only came out because there was this one girl who was in an argument with her for some reason and said something along the lines of, “That’s why you screw your students!” The whole incident got brought up to the office and they interviewed everyone. They found out she’d done it with multiple students for the past few years.
#35 Le Boo
The French teacher kicked a girl who didn’t leave his classroom fast enough. I was in the class during the incident. About two weeks after, and nothing was seemingly happening. Students were questioned, and a warning was given, but not much else. But one fateful day, he got what was coming to him. He entered the lunch hall and some kids started booing him.
Quickly, others started to pitch in, and soon enough he had 1,400 high school kids booing him and throwing stuff at him. It was almost like the ending of Matilda, but even more grand. He quit shortly after.
#36 The Tiger Incident
We had several insane moments at my high school. The first was a girl who went to take her senior pictures with a tiger and ended up getting mauled. She ended up passing from the wounds, I think the tiger gouged her femoral artery. We live in a rural part of the Midwest, so the tiger thing was way out of left field.
A few years later a Spanish class went to Costa Rica with the Spanish teacher for a senior trip and got caught up in an undertow. I don’t remember how many didn’t make it back to shore, but at least two students drowned and the teacher lost his life trying to save one of them. We also had an explosive scare once, but it turned out to be a fake.
For a rural school with only 500 students, these events really took their toll on the place.
#37 Money Talks
So, on the day ahead of a huge event that was going to happen in the auditorium of our school, someone peed on the audio equipment in the auditorium of our school. It didn’t work anymore. The principal announced that anyone who was a witness and who could tell them who the culprit is would receive 500€ from the school. Turns out it was someone from our neighboring class and probably 8-10 guys from that class went into the principal’s office to rat him out and receive the money.
The only thing is the majority of them who went there were just claiming to have witnessed it to receive the money. The guy got expelled from school and had to pay for new audio equipment which was probably at least around 3,000-4,000€. I still don’t know whether everyone who ratted him out ended up receiving the 500€ or not.
#38 Briefs Off
A kid took a bunch of magic mushrooms and ran around the halls at lunch in his undies. A horde of campus security and coaches were chasing him until they cornered him on the bed of someone’s truck. They were at a standoff and the kid was yelling, “Come any closer and the briefs come off.” A coach managed to sneak behind the kid from another parked truck and tackled him.
#39 Can’t Take the Heat
One time this kid I was friends with brought this hot sauce called Da Bomb (1.5million Scoville units, hotter than oblivion) to high school and let a bunch of kids try it during lunch. I mean, at least 30 kids. Some kids really started freaking out because that stuff is ridiculously hot, like you’re supposed to add one or two drops to a big batch of chili to make it spicy.
Some were trying to show off. They took a swig of it and ended up vomiting everywhere from the heat/panic. Multiple kids had to go to the nurse and be sent home because they way overdid it, although I think most just really had no idea what a Scoville unit was or that they made hot sauce that was that ridiculously hot. It was chaos. I tried it as well, a dime-size amount, and I couldn’t concentrate on anything but chugging milk.
And I’m really good with spicy foods! Finally, the principal came on the intercom and said, “Whoever brought the hot sauce, please. Just stop.” My friend got into some pretty big trouble for that one.
#40 If These Walls Could Talk
When I was in middle school one of my brothers’ friends that lived down the street went missing. She had an older boyfriend who also lived on the same street. He was allegedly the last person to see her and the story was that she had left his house late at night to walk home, and he never got the usual phone call that she got home safe.
After 24 hours of not hearing from her, he and her family filed a missing person. Eventually, the search parties stopped, the missing posters were taken down, and she was deemed as lost. Fast forward to a couple years later. The boyfriend had been moved out of the house for a while now, a new family moves in. The kids are playing in the woods behind the house, and they find her bones.
The skull was totally bashed in and a disturbing amount of her bones were broken. She was beaten to death. The worst part was the remains were no more than 6 feet from the house. I have no idea why the cops hadn’t found them, but it really sparked a debate in our town about how serious our police force is.
#41 Post-Secondary Disappearance
A little over 10 years ago, a HS senior in my town went missing, they’ve never found him. Apparently, he was at a party just before graduation, got into a fight with his girlfriend, and left to walk home. They’ve extensively checked all the nearby woods, dredged the rivers and lakes, it even caught the attention of some TV “psychic.” They found his car, abandoned, but no other sign of him.
The creepiest part is how everyone in my hometown still talks about it; My psych teacher in high school used his disappearance as an example when we discussed dissociative fugue states; the town is still plastered in MISSING signs; every year they go out and search again. I always wonder if it was suicide, an accident, foul play, or if he just took off across the country.
#42 At Least He Didn’t Throw It
Kid got hit in the stomach by a dodgeball, pooped himself, picked the poop up off the ground, and proceeded to put the poop in his pocket “so no one would know.” EVERYONE in class saw.
#43 Signed Vandalism
This one dude made a stencil of his very…unique…self-designed tattoo. Then spray painted said tattoo stencil on the front of the school building, along with some other graffiti for good measure. Then he went to the administration and claimed that someone “saw his tattoo on Facebook, made a stencil from it and was trying to frame him.”
No one bought it. No one is that dumb. He was suspended, two days before his graduation.
#44. Victim Addict
This girl did a lot of weird stuff in high school but I think the turning point was when she broke down in class crying because her mum had passed on. The teacher let her out to get some air. A lad had lost his mum to cancer the year before and left the class with her to talk about it. We all felt terrible. We’d been kind of excluding her because she was weird and she smelled, but we had no idea that this was happening—then, her web of lies unraveled.
When we saw her introducing her mum to teachers at parents’ evening we were freaking done. It’s not your typical type of stupid for that age. She seemed to have just forgotten that she’d ever said that.
#45 Just Not Cool
A science teacher in my school was cool if a little weird (not in a creepy type way). His room was always open for the kids to hang out in. He spent a lot of his own time and I suspect money managing an “animal club” which the kids were responsible for looking after. We had hundreds of different animals: hissing cockroaches, snakes, a three-foot iguana, mice, chipmunks, chinchillas, and more.
He also liked to tell cool stories about his own life, such as the pigs that he kept (Rasher and Bacon), his caving experiences, sailing experiences, etc. He would spend his own time helping students that were struggling and give them extra tutoring if warranted. However, he never tolerated laziness or attitudes and would call out students that couldn’t be bothered.
Which is where this kid comes in. This kid made a comic book depicting the science teacher touching the students (male and female) while saying his little catchphrases. It was found and brought to said science teacher’s attention. A meeting happened with the senior management in the school where the brought the kid, the kid’s mom, and the teacher in. I’ll never forget his chilling reaction.
This six-foot massive teacher which a huge ginger beard cried and said he had never experienced anything like it in his life before now. Even the rest of us hated this kid for what happened, and at that age, we were really immature.
#46 Industrial Peanut Butter
This girl Maggie would find someone new to latch onto every month or so. When she found someone she wanted to befriend, she would do crazy, over-the-top stuff in an attempt to impress them. At one point she was obsessed with a girl we’ll call Kat. One day, Kat brought in a baggie of celery and was dipping it in a sauce cup of peanut butter. Maggie WOULDN’T STOP staring and basically watched Kat consume every last piece of celery…
Sure enough, the very next day, Maggie comes into class with, I kid you not, like six bunches of celery stalks, and a family-sized tub of peanut butter. She just eats it ALL day, with the biggest smile on her face, all while staring at Kat from across the room. This is a lighter example of the many off-the-wall things Maggie has done for her transient idol of the month, but the endless bushels of celery is just something I’ll never forget.
#47 What Happens Later?
I went to Catholic school and during mass, this girl sitting next to me didn’t fully get up, but just sort of squatted and started peeing in the pew next to me (girls wore skirts as part of their uniform). She left the school shortly after. Also, had a kid who would get a nice big ball of spit in his mouth then let it drop out of his mouth into his shirt pocket. He said he was “saving it for later.” Catholic school is weird, folks.
#48 Howdy, Partners
In high school, this guy was always dressed like a cowboy, with hat, boots, jacket, and even a belt with two prop revolvers and boots with spurs which he got in trouble for a few times. One memorable day was when he brought a stuffed horsehead toy with a long stick attached to it and ran around the school hallways with it yelling, “Heehaw,” and twirling an imaginary cowboy whip.
Senior year this dude even founded a cowboy club in our school. A month later, we had four of these cowboys heehawing thru the hallways riding their horsehead sticks.
#49 This Hat Stinks
First day of high school (UK—age 11), kid found a pair of badly soiled boxer shorts in an outdoor bin that had clearly been there all summer. I’m talking caked in a 1/4-inch layer of dried poop. Proceeded to put them on his head and start chasing groups of people around the playground…not the best first impression to make when starting a new school.
The poor guy never really pulled himself out of the social rut he dived headfirst into that day.
#50 Extra Pepper
Two kids from high school stick out like crazy in my mind: During middle school, one odd kid apparently thought he could sneakily touch himself under his desk in the middle of class. Teacher noticed not long after, it was a little awkward for her. During high school, a different idiot kid decided to do his own senior prank by putting a can of pepper spray in the school’s ventilation system.
The pepper spray ended up being spread throughout most of the school’s main buildings. We had to be evacuated and some people had to get medical attention.
#51 Saving That One
I knew this kid who smelled terrible. He’d walk in a room and this disgusting stench would follow him, like some sort of cloud of garbage scented air. If you were in class with him it would permeate the entire room. Yet somehow, this kid managed to get even more gross. One time one of the teachers found a toenail in his locker. He had some sort of fungal infection on his feet and one of his nails fell off, which he then proceeded to take and save so he could send it to a family member.
Quite possibly the most disgusting and weird event I’ve ever witnessed.
#52 Watch Your Back
There was a girl I went to school with from elementary through high school. I never really talked to her as she was extremely emotional, and any time I’d watch someone interact with her she’d either break down or scream. I was always nice in passing and would wave then put my head down. I managed to go years without getting stuck with her in one of my classes.
Freaking YEARS by pure luck not getting stuck in a class with her. Until my senior year—and it was worse than I’d ever imagined. Now mind you, her sophomore year she went missing and a huge search was put out trying to locate her. We all knew she was fine and about a week later she was found outside of a grocery store begging for money with her much older boyfriend.
She’d also spent years wearing a tail and ears to school because that’s just “who I am on the inside.” Overall… weird behavior that I can now attribute to neglect at home (didn’t find that out until after HS). So senior year rolls around and I don’t only have a class with her…I’m sitting right next to her in history. Well dang.
First day and she’s already set a standard for how bad this semester is about to be. “Oh, my boyfriend bought me a laptop but I hide it from my mom.” “I’ve done it with over 30 guys. All older too!” Stuff like that. Well, one day the teacher pulls me aside because he’s noticed she doesn’t overreact around me. The convo went like this:
Teacher: “Do you know X really well?” Me: “No, no I don’t actually.” Teacher: “Okay but you know she’s…got some mental stuff going on, right?” Me: “Uh yeah I mean I guess.” Teacher: “She threatened to stab another student yesterday after class so if you could just sit with her next semester as well, I’d appreciate it.” Me: ……
It did get reported to staff, but apparently her mom caused a big scene at the office and everyone decided to drop it since the kid being threatened was the only witness. She was freaking insane, but at least there was a silver lining: The teacher passed me with an A just for grading papers and listening/babysitting her from then on out. I know absolutely nothing about WWII now but far, far too much about that girl’s life.
#53 The Collector
In high school, we had a computer class that was in a brand-new computer lab. So new that they hadn’t had time to set up all of the “keep kids from doing stupid stuff” settings and software. Now, this was one of the classes where each computer station was a module for some different software. We all moved around the class quite a bit.
One kid figured out he had free reign of the internet and started downloading a metric ton of smut, but he only did it on one module. Maybe because he thought it would mask who it was, maybe just to keep it all consolidated, idk. But the teacher figures out that someone had been downloading smut on this one computer, so she does the logical thing and talks to some of the better students in the class.
Ends up giving them extra credit if they can set up a webcam behind the module to catch whoever is doing it. In the end, they catch the kid red-handed with over 10 gigs of smut and a stack of DVDs he was burning it onto.
#54 Good Gesture, Wrong Approach
I wasn’t there when it happened (I had changed schools), but I keep in touch with my old friends. The weird kid (also a friend of mine) had gone up to the “popular kids” table and told them he had a surprise for them tomorrow. So, of course, they think he’s going to shoot up the school. They have a lockdown, evacuate his class, and an officer goes in to talk to him.
Turns out he bought some donuts for the “popular kids” to try and make friends with them.
#55 Strike, Scream, Run
The one that always comes to mind is this kid, Glenn. Total weeaboo. Oddly enough, this didn’t have anything to do with anime or Japan. I wanna say it was bio class in sophomore year. He was doodling or something and the teacher called on him to answer a question. He sputtered out something incorrect and the teacher walked over to his desk and said he needed to pay attention and stop drawing.
She turned around to go back to the front of the classroom and he stood up and chucked his pencil across the room, made a weird caveman/Tusken Raider shrieking noise, and swung his fist at her. Kid was easily 6’2 and 240lbs, she was 5’1 and 100lbs or so. He hit her square in the back and she went down. He made this shrieking noise again and bolted from the room in an awkward Naruto-run.
Fortunately, the teacher was only a little shaken; she brushed herself off and said, “Man, he’s having a really bad day.” Another kid picked up the pencil he threw and written on it was “Glenn Lastname – insanity: it’s what I do.” Good ol’ Glenn got suspended through the semester.
#56 And He Was Never Seen Again
His name was Joe. One day I was in class and saw him being marched down the corridor to the pastoral leader’s office. The pastoral leader looked absolutely shocked at what she had seen, but the best was yet to come. Thirty minutes earlier, Joe had gone to the toilet and while he was there he had pooped into his hands and placed his deposit inside the hand dryer.
The next person to use it had poop splatted all over their hands. This wasn’t even the worst part. Somehow it was figured out that Joe had done this and he was swiftly taken out of his class by the pastoral leader—who happened to be American—and taken to her office. Now it’s important to note here that pastoral leaders’ computers aren’t subject to the same internet restrictions as the rest of the school.
The pastoral leader left her office for whatever reason, leaving Joe alone in the office. When she came back we heard this massive, “OH MY GOD” in her American accent. While she had been out of the room Joe had used her computer to get onto adult sites and started touching himself. I wasn’t one of the kids who actually saw it, but others responded to the shriek.
I never saw Joe again after the end of that week.
#57 Hidden Valley or Newman’s Own?
This kid used to drink cups of ranch dressing at lunch…and nothing else. He would have 15-20 of those little ketchup cups loaded on his tray and he’d start slurping it down. Pretty sure he had some kind of mental disability so I don’t want to rag on him too hard, but just watching him do that every day turned me off of ranch for a few years.
#58 Soup or Soup?
This guy would just combine all of his food at lunch, including the drink, into a weird soup and eat it like that, no matter what we were eating.
#59 The School Dementors Strike Again
Man, so this kid was a strange one. Maybe something was up with him, but I don’t know. He really liked Slipknot, anyway. One day he swore he was a Wiccan. We used to have Smash Bros. tournaments and invite kids over to play at a friend’s, and he showed up saying he was able to change his eye color. He closed his eyes to concentrate and he opened them saying they changed. They didn’t. He said they became a lighter shade.
He tried to show me how to create fireballs and had this book of different wolf pictures and tried to determine what my wolf form was. He wasn’t a bad kid just weird so we dealt with it…until the incident. He was really into the Wiccan stuff, so two of my friends decided to screw with him. I guess you can say they were metalheads and they had that look.
Anyway, they told me they went up to him one day and revealed themselves as demons. One of them, let’s call him Vince, said he reached out to him from down the hallway, and said, “Your soul is mine!” and made gestures like he pulled his soul out of his body and buried into in the floor. So, the kid freaks out and begs for his soul back and my friends leave thinking the dumb prank was over—they were so wrong.
Later that day, I get a knock on my door and it’s the kid. He has a pair of those sharp metal scissors in his hands and he looks frantic. He is aggressive and tells me that he needs to find Vince. He needs to end Vince’s life to get his soul back. I’m pretty shocked, so I tell him that I don’t know where Vince is and the kid is reluctant to believe me because he has seen me with them. He asked me if I knew they were demons and I tell him I didn’t know.
Anyway, I pretty much shut the door on him and he leaves, freaking out. Supposedly, he was running around trying to find Vince to end his life and retrieve his soul. But this kid was pretty big, so someone saw him running around in the streets with scissors. We don’t know what happened to him. Obviously, as an adult looking back, it was a messed up situation for the kid. No one expected such an episode back then.
I do hope he is doing all right now. However, it was still weird as heck.
#60 Shots Fired!
Sneezed and pulled out a large red snot. Everyone watched as it seemed to never end. His arm stretched out until it was no longer bent, and the snot was still running from his nose to his hand. It then proceeded to fling out of his nose and across the classroom onto a desk. One kid threw up.
#61 The Good Pesticides
Back in high school, I was casually acquainted with a guy who was a self-proclaimed “drug-head,” despite having never partaken of anything stronger than an Advil. He used to make a big deal about how high, drunk, or generally “messed up” he’d get on a daily basis, usually in between bouts of scrawling, “420 4 lyfe” on his school supplies.
One day, as a prank, one of my other friends gave the kid in question a bag of “grass.” After first looking genuinely shocked and then unbelievably (in the literal sense) excited, the would-be pothead disappeared with his “drugs” for about five minutes…and when he came back, he was speaking in a high falsetto and acting like the world had suddenly transformed into a pinball machine.
“Oh, man!” he shrieked, flopping down on a bench. “That stuff got me so messed up, you guys!” “Yeah, I’m sure it did,” someone replied. “I’m so messed up, you don’t even know!” This continued for another five minutes or so, by which point we’d all gotten sick of his antics. “Dude,” said the guy who had originally offered the bag full of plant matter, “I only gave you grass.”
“Yeah, I know! It got me so messed up!” “No, I mean it was grass. Lawn clippings.” The alleged stoner’s eyes suddenly went wide as the truth of his situation dawned on him…but rather than confess to the act and keep some of his pride intact, he decided to double down on the situation: “Well, I don’t know what kind of weird pesticide is on your lawn, man, but that stuff got me so messed up! You don’t even know!”
Still another handful of minutes passed, during which time the kid “came down” from his “high.” It was the sort of scenario for which he should have received a lot of teasing…but I think everyone was afraid that he’d start doing that squeaky voice again.
Friend of my brother’s (a year younger) in 10th grade if I remember right…I wasn’t there but I saw the aftermath—and I’ll never forget it. He was horsing around with a few other people in class, chasing each other and whatnot. There was a door that had one of those old-fashioned bolt-on slide locks with a round bolt that you lifted and slid into a round hole on the other side.
This door was wide open at the time…anyway, while running away from his friends he ran past this door. His picky finger slid perfectly into the lock where the bolt would normally fit, all the way to his knuckle, and literally just ripped it right off his hand at the joint. He didn’t make a sound himself when it happened (he did right after though of course), but my brother said the finger made a sound like a pencil being snapped in half.
They reattached it, and it still mostly worked after, but it always looked pretty wonky, all sad and crooked…Weirdest freak accident I ever heard of.
#63 I Regret Everything
Wouldn’t stop asking us to join his “Investment Club” or become a writer for his Investment website. Well, four years later that website got bought out for $2 million. Fast forward to today, he’s got his own firm and parties with like models every weekend.
#64 Cool to Fool
There was a kid named Shane I went to middle school with; this was in the early 00s when white rappers like Eminem were really big. He started going by “2Shanez” as his “rapper name” to sound cool. There was a fire drill/evacuation one day where we all had to go sit on the track and wait for the fire department to clear the building (…I don’t think it was a drill after all, looking back on it).
The track was furthest from the school, with a field for soccer and another field for field hockey in between. The track area was fenced off by a chain-link fence about four feet high, and it wasn’t a very long stretch at all. It wasn’t blocking anything, just more of a divider.
Anyways, everyone is making their way towards the track and walking through the “doorway” gap in the fence, while 2Shanez decided he would be cool, pull a stunt, and hop the fence. It ended badly, to put it lightly. He didn’t jump high enough, caught his junk, ripped his sack open. In front of the entire school. He was wheeled off by the school nurse in a wheelchair with a blanket covering his crotch.
2Shanez met his 2chainz that day.
#65 That Counts!
We had this one kid who was a bit of an oddball, always said the most obscure things in the middle of class, and overall kinda reminded me of Dwight from The Office. Anyways, we were in gym class playing kickball indoors because it was raining and he was on me and my friend’s team. His turn came up, bases loaded with a pretty close game, and class was about to end.
We were all just watching in anticipation as the pitch came. Mid-roll, he turns around and looks directly at us and gives the most confident smirk I’ve ever seen. Turns back around, runs up, and kicks the ball. Now, we had a pretty decent sized gym area and at the top were all these metal beams for support. A couple of them were giant I-beam type things.
So anyway, he kicks the ball and it goes flying up 40 feet and hits all these beams and somehow lands perfectly on the edge of one of the I-beams that could only have been the length of the ball itself. The guy ran the bases like it was business as usual, and me and my friends rolled laughing convinced that he freaking knew that he would do that.
The ball stayed up there the rest of the school year.
Well, I am not that ashamed to admit it, but I AM the weird kid. The thing that I did was part of a joke between me and my friends. You would “Simba” each other. How? You slather ketchup on each other’s foreheads while trying to not be slathered. One day, one of my friends wasn’t quite alert, so I thought that I’d be a friend and help wake him up. Needed items:
Napkin. Ketchup. A sick sense of humor. A clear throat.
So, I went to the ketchup pump and put as much as I could in the napkin. I then sneaked up on him and slapped him in the forehead with ketchup. Needless to say, if that didn’t wake him up, then me singing at the top of my lungs in the cafeteria the opening song from The Lion King sure did the trick. Everyone was staring, he got embarrassed, and he scraped ketchup on to his hand to retaliate.
He starts chasing me around, yelling with bad intent, while I’m still singing. I was SO glad I only got an in-school suspension for that.
#67 She Looks Tasty
High school drawing class, two kids: Girl A (had known her for a while, fairly normal kid) and Girl B (had never spoken to her before). I was having a chat with girl A during class when girl B approaches. “Girl A, are you busy?” “Yeah, I’m talking.” “Oh, but can you just…” “No.” “Pleeeaasseee?” “I said no, come back when I’m not talking.”
Girl A and I go back to our conversation, the same convo between Girl A and Girl B happens once more. Finally, Girl A and I stop talking. “Are you free now?” Girl A sighs the sigh of a lost cause. Her eyes look dead. She tilts her head, “Go ahead, Girl B.” Girl B viciously bites her neck. In a full classroom, teacher present. No one moves, Girl A doesn’t make a sound, but Girl B loudly, sloppily bites at her neck.
I still talk to Girl A but haven’t brought up that time since.
#68 Just a Little Napalm
“That kid” got a hold of the Anarchist Cookbook and made some napalm. We didn’t believe him, so the following day he brought in the entire jar of napalm. Took a small piece and put it on a pillar near the library at lunchtime and lit it on fire. That was the last I ever saw of him. I heard another kid he was bragging to told a teacher or principal about his jar and he was immediately expelled.
He was a nice kid, just maybe not the best at making good decisions.
#69 Sweet Setup
Our teacher told us that a student had pulled out an enormous bag of M&Ms shortly after a test began one day. Since she allowed eating during her tests, she didn’t think much of it. She never noticed that the student was eating a specific color corresponding to A/B/C/D, so that his friend beside him could get the correct answers!
They only got caught when another student ratted them out.
#70 That Answer is a Stretch
In my high school Latin class, an oversized football player seemed to ALWAYS ace the vocabulary tests. He was not so good at conjugation or sentence structure, but had a failproof mental recall system…or so we thought. In fact, in EVERY class we had together, I began to notice that his ability to answer A –> B type inquiries was phenomenal.
Even his mathematical formulas were always spot on. His actual calculations though…not so much. While tutoring the football player for the Latin final exam, he told me he had no intention of studying any of the vocabulary words, definitions, tenses, etc. He only had concern for descriptive, conjugative, structure, and exploratory-type test questions.
I said to him, “I’m just wondering, how can you flawlessly recite and recall vocabulary and formulas on point like you do, but yet can’t remember how to put it all together?” He said to me, “Rubber band, man!” He proceeded to take the rubber band off his wrist. He stretched it out and placed it around a notebook, long-ways. As the rubber band stretched out, I could see all of the definitions of each vocabulary word written on it.
It included gender variations, prefixes, suffixes, tenses, etc. Then when he took the rubber band off of the notebook, and it retracted to its original size… all those answers disappeared! I had no idea how much information a simple rubber band could actually hold!
#71 Manipulating the Teacher
During an AP US History test in high school, we had a question asking about the author of a book. A kid raised his hand and said, “Mrs. ______ I read <name of book> this weekend, and I really liked it!” The teacher, obviously forgetting that she had put this question on the test, replied with “Oh! By <author’s name>? I love that book!”
The whole class burst out laughing but no one said anything, because she had just inadvertently given us the answer to the test question.
#72 Stockholm Syndrome
So, there was this teacher, let’s call him Mr. A, who had a reputation for being a phenomenal teacher. He had every student engaged with and invested in his class, no matter how mundane the subject matter. Any time he asked a question, every student’s hand would shoot in the air and the students would shout things like, “call on me!” or “I know the answer!”
Of course, their answers were always right. Fast-forward a couple of years, I was grabbing a coffee with Mr. A and I decided to ask him how he did it. His response? “Well, I told the kids that every time we had a visitor in class, I needed them all to raise their hands like I was giving away free candy.” But there was a twist.
He told them if they didn’t know the answer, they had to raise their left hands. If they did know it, they raised their right hands, so he knew who to call on. Then he could make everyone look good.
#73 Blame Technology
Back in high school, if I wasn’t finished an assignment on time, I would corrupt an empty Word document so that it couldn’t be opened, rename it a legitimate title, and then send it to my teacher at the last possible minute the night that it was due. I’d show up to class the next day, and the teacher would go over the assignment and sometimes use examples of things written by students that had already submitted theirs way earlier.
I’d note everything down and then do my actual assignment until my teacher realized a few days later that she couldn’t open my (fake) assignment. She’d ask me if I could send it again, and I always said, “Sure, no problem!”
#74 Group Effort
In my high school, we had a Facebook group chat with all of the students in the grade. During tests, someone from my class would take a picture of the exam and post it in the group chat. Somebody from a class that wasn’t having the test that period would send the answers back in the group chat. So everyone in my class would be on their phones and see the answers from the group chat.
Later, the class that had been giving us the answers would have their test, knowing all the answers already, of course.
#75 Direction Through Misdirection
In high school, a group of us used to wait for one of the smart kids to go up and turn their quiz in. As soon as they did, I would go up and distract the teacher by asking questions, while another friend would go up to the tray. He would pretend to turn his in, but really just take the smart kid’s quiz from the top and bring it back to his seat.
That quiz would then be passed around to a few people and would get turned back in when we were all done. We did this for every quiz. It was pretty risky, but obviously the teacher wasn’t paying too much attention, as we never got caught.
#76 A Near Miss?
It was my senior year in high school. I’ve never been that good at math but I couldn’t get bad grades or else I wouldn’t get into university. One day, we had a complicated test and, as I almost always did, I wrote the solved exercises of the test on Post-it notes and put them inside my pencil case so that I could discreetly copy off of them when the teacher wasn’t looking.
I was on the very last exercise when the teacher unexpectedly came to stand next to me with some papers in his hand and said, “Can I borrow a highlighter from you?” My heart stopped, but I said yes so that he didn’t get suspicious. I was planning to subtly move the notes around to find the highlighter, but he didn’t wait for me to hand it to him.
Instead, he opened the pencil case with all the Post-it notes inside! As I was waiting for him to start yelling at me or rip up my test or something, he rummaged through it until he found the highlighter. Then, to my utter shock, he started doing whatever he was doing, standing next to me. He hadn’t noticed the notes! He highlighted something and I was waiting anxiously for him to give me back the highlighter and finally leave—but he didn’t.
Instead, he opened the pencil case again to put the highlighter back in! At this point, I had seen my life flash before my eyes twice in the span of five minutes, and I was just waiting for him to take my test and report the whole thing and get me in trouble, but he didn’t. Just as unexpectedly as he had arrived, he left and went back to his desk.
I almost cried when he didn’t do anything, and my limbs felt like Jell-O. I later found out that I got an A on the test, but to this day, I just think he did the whole highlighter thing to tell me subtly that he knew I was cheating but wasn’t going to do anything about it. After all, the Post-it notes were very obvious once you opened the pencil case, and he wasn’t stupid.
Needless to say, next time I cheated, I was much more careful.
#77 The Prankster Prodigy
A kid’s work kept deleting itself on a computer every few minutes. He was having a meltdown, and I saw it happen. It was impossible to explain the phantom deleting that was going on. Fast forward to the end of the class, and there’s one kid remaining. This kid was sitting at the opposite computer from the kid who lost all his work.
He looks at me with this devious smile and says, “You wanna know how I did it?” He had put in a USB keyboard into the back of the computer and had it set up so he could hit the delete key with his big toe. It was the funniest stealth attack I’d seen in a long time. Being the teacher, I should have done something, but it was too funny and smart.
#78 Tables Turned
This story is about my high school math teacher playing the students and “cheating.” It was an honors algebra/geometry class, and it was well known that Mr. D re-used the same questions every year and just changed the numbers. He made a big deal about making sure we all gave our exam papers back to him after we had looked at our scores and gone over everything together.
He told it that it was to prevent cheating for the next year. Well, some of my classmates still got their hands on a complete set of tests from the previous year and soon, everyone had a set. Before each exam, we would sit together and make sure we knew how to solve every problem on that test so we could do it on the real exam with different numbers.
Years later, when I became a teacher myself, I saw Mr. D at a funeral one day and I confessed our cheating to him. To my confusion, he smirked and said, “Who do you think leaked the test packet to get you to study?” Mr. D had figured out that kids won’t study if the teacher suggests it, but if they think they’re getting away with something forbidden, they totally will.
He somehow managed to get a test packet out and circulating as “contraband.” It blew my mind.
#79 Large-Scale Operation
Students at my former high school made national headlines because of a large-scale cheating scandal. A professional “tutor” was helping students break into teachers’ classrooms to keylog their computers in order to obtain their passwords. Hundreds of students ended up getting the exams early due to its success. Unfortunately, teachers began to get suspicious when failing students started to get 100% on exams.
#80 Like, Science, Scoob
In high school biology, a guy who was known for being a pretty good voice actor was reading a page on the properties of fungi in multiple impressions and making everyone laugh. He often got picked to read after that, and never disappointed. We’ve had: Yogi Bear, Irish guy, Disney princess, Shaggy, Scottish guy, Patrick Warburton, and many more. Before he graduated, his voice was also recorded for phone messages informing of school events, school voicemail, and MC for many school events.
#81 What Was the Answer?
Talking about statistics on industrial maiming accidents during the Gilded Age, and this kid raises his hand. He asks a question that is seared into my mind to this day. In all seriousness, he asks if getting one’s nipple rings ripped out by a 19th century textile machine would count as maiming.
#82 Old People: One, Class Clown: Zero
We had a boom-box in class for a while and our classroom faced a busy sidewalk. So the class clown did stand-up gigs for pedestrians in the break between classes until the retirement home down the street complained about the noise.
#83 Natural Red Card
It was math class and we had a system at our school where you have to have a red card to use the bathroom during lesson time – it was only given to students with bladder issues and stuff. So this girl needed to go to because she was on her period and the teacher says no, she asked her again and the teacher was like, “Not unless you have a red card. Do you have a red card?”
She (student) paused for a moment, reached into her bag, pulled out her pad, held it high then went, “Yeah. Here is it.” The group of people around her laughed hard but no one else had heard what she said and were very confused.
#84 Penguin Time
The class clown in my year was a rather large chap. One lunchtime he decided it would be a good idea to pull up his shirt, unveiling his rather large belly. He covered it with butter, then ran down the hallway as fast as possible to see how far he could slide. It wasn’t very far. He ended up with loads of friction burns on his belly.
It’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
#85 Yes… Accidentally
While walking around the classroom, I tripped on a boy’s backpack and almost faceplanted on the floor. A girl asked me if I was okay, to which I replied, “No, X almost ended my life.” He turned to me and, without missing a beat, replied with the best comeback I’ve ever heard. He immediately goes, “I won’t fail next time!” We still laugh about it about every two weeks. Definitely my favorite in that group.
#86 School Stand-In
In our Algebra II class my junior year, my best friend walked into class five minutes late with a life-sized cardboard cutout of himself. He pulls his chair out, stands the cutout between the chair and the desk, and walks right back out of the room. The teacher didn’t say anything for about 45 seconds. Then she just marked him absent and pretended nothing had happened.
At the end of the class he came back and got it. By the end of the next class the cutout had been confiscated.
#87 Slap, Slap, Slap
On a retreat in my junior year (private school), the entire guys section of the dorms planned to make fap noises by hitting their palms against their thighs. As soon as the chaperone, who was a brother, shuts the lights out, we freaking go at it. Moaning and slapping and stuff, it was crazy. After maybe 15 seconds he bursts into the room telling us to be respectful and not befoul our school’s reputation.
From the back of the room this one dude goes, “I was done anyway.” Nobody could keep quiet, tears were shed and sides cramped. It was a good night.
#88 Late Breakfast
My friend has always been weird, but on one of the last few days of ninth grade, he took it to the next level. He walked into his biology class, pulled out a bowl, spoon, a bag of cereal, and a bottle of milk, and proceeded to have a bowl of cereal. After he was done, he went to the back of the classroom, rinsed off his bowl and spoon, and sat down like it never happened.
#89 It Was Only a Matter of Time
I’m a teacher, and I had a habit of throwing markers at students and asking them to throw it back. I’d hold up a hand but never actually try to catch it. Just stood there motionless. During a physics unit, I was tossing a tennis ball around the room. I asked a kid to throw it and took my normal pose. He took his shot and lobbed it (lightly) at my crotch. Direct hit.
#90 Never Phone it In
One kid had his phone taken away for texting during class. The next day, the teacher took it away again. But he pulled out a second (old) cell phone a couple minutes later and began pressing buttons, pretending to text. It was also confiscated. This happened several more times before he pulled out a giant cordless phone with a 2′ antenna, the sort that came out in the late 80s, and began pushing buttons on it. The teacher couldn’t stop laughing.
#91 A Gift from Knight to King
At my high school, during homecoming week, there are various competitions between the classes to show who is the “most spirited.” The winner gets an award. Usually they announce it, and the class president and a few other people get their picture with the award (which is a huge ceremonial sword), then it goes back in the case. My sophomore year, our class won it, and proceeded to rush the gymnasium floor and grab the sword.
When the crowd dispersed, the teachers made an eerie discovery: the sword was nowhere to be found. The sword was still missing the next year, so they made a new one and started using that. Fast forward to our graduation ceremony two and a half years later. After receiving his diploma, the class clown pulled the missing Spirit Sword out from under his gown and handed it to the Principal.
#92 Another One for the Collection
I knew this kid that would write long, romantic, and graphic love poems on notebook paper. He would then fold them up really small and place them in my male teacher’s pants pocket. The teacher was a larger fellow and his pant pockets would somehow always be slightly open. Later on in the class, the teacher would just happen to place his hands in his pockets and find the unknown piece of paper.
He would unfold it and begin to read. As he progressed through the romantic poem, the look on his face just became more and more intrigued/confused. You could tell he had no clue what was going on. But for some reason he never questioned the notes and would just put them in his desk drawer. We would just sit in the back and laugh our butts off. Freaking priceless.
#93 Like a Spider Monkey
This happened in statistics class near the end of my junior year of high school, after all the seniors had graduated. There were only about eight of us left in that class which makes this story even better. Our statistics teacher had his head buried in a book that he was trying to teach us from, and our “class clown” thought it was boring as anything.
He starts sneaking, sneaking towards the window. Statistics teacher still has head buried in the book, while we all watch him wondering what he will do. He starts going towards the wall, and climbing up the stuff near the side of it, then opens up the window and climbs out of the classroom. Statistics teacher didn’t notice at all. One other classmate writes, “THAT WAS AWESOME” down on a piece of paper that we all could see, while all of us were trying to contain our laughter.
#94 Wrong Audience
My high school had a study hall period that you could use to work on homework, makeup tests, missing work, etc. My favorite teacher taught history and had a good sense of humor but also not much classroom control, so her room during study hall was always a bit wild. Her room was arranged in such a way that her desk was in one corner, but the phone was in another, by the sink. This meant that often during class and almost always during study hall, if the phone rang, a student would pick up the phone since they were closer.
The chemistry teacher, who was a stone-cold witch if there ever was one and had zero sense of humor, called up one day during study hall for something. A student, who we shall call M, not knowing who had called, picked up the phone and said, ”Buddy the Elf, what’s your favorite color?” M’s face transitioned into sheer horror once he realized who he had said it to, and then immediately hung up on her.
So he screwed up not just once, but twice on that one phone call. He made himself scarce just in time for the chemistry teacher to get up to history teacher’s classroom, fully prepared to ream out whoever had answered the phone. History teacher, not knowing what had happened, just vaguely apologized and the chemistry teacher left in a huff. Someone tells the history teacher what really happened, and then she can’t stop laughing once she realizes what M said on the phone.
This remains one of the funniest things that happened in high school.
#95 The Sports Bag Centipede
When I was at high school, everyone bought their books and stuff to school in a sports bag. The handles/straps which you use to carry them over your shoulder had little metal clips so that they could be detached. At lunch break everyone used to leave their bags in one corner of the schoolyard. I spent most of my lunch break discreetly unclipping one end and attaching them to other bags so that all of the bags were interconnected in a big tangled mess. When the bell rang and everyone went to grab their bags I stood back and watched the chaos. I’ve never laughed so hard.
#96 Clown Classed
The start of senior year in my trigonometry class we had the school class clown. Our teacher was an elderly man who was very quiet. Said class clown was a terror to him. At the end of the year we were all coming into class and sat down. Well, the class clown was always late. Our teacher didn’t say a word. He finally came in and went to go sit down.
Once he sat down his whole desk just fell apart and collapsed! Our very quiet teacher was laughing so hard he fell onto the floor crying. The whole class was dying. The class clown got up and ran out of the room. Best teacher ever.
#97 Brought Together Through Gas
I was in English in high school. We were all reading silently when a kid a few rows away from me lets out the loudest flatulence. We all look at him and he had this giggling face like he had done it on purpose. A few kids start laughing. I start laughing. More kids laugh. Then we’re all laughing as the teacher couldn’t control herself either.
Eventually, it cooled down and we all went back to reading like nothing had happened.
#98 Class Cat
I went to an all-girls Catholic school and the dean of student life was a terrifying Stalin-type. Spirit week schedule is announced, and again she assigned a ‘dress like a teacher day’ on Wednesday. Super annoying because we had to dress nice or like a man. Sure, the first year is fun, but by the fifth or sixth time, it’s old. So, our class clown decides that it is CAT DAY, and shows up in a full-on catsuit, hood with ears, drawn on whiskers, the full nine yards.
I was at my locker, about three down from our clown, when the dean finds her and asks what teacher she’s dressed as. The girl, Molly, lifts up her hand and makes a clawing motion and goes, “I’m you, merowww.” Considering the dean was such a terror, I thought the girl was done for, but the lady just laughed and let her go. I thought the dean was going to implode in fury.
#99 My Pal the Pigeon
One day during lunch, my cousin and his friends were chilling in the park in the village when a bunch of pigeons showed up and began feeding, or whatever pigeons do. This guy decides it’d be really funny if he lured one in with a bit of his sandwich. He tears off bits of bread and begins coaxing the bird, and just as it gets close enough, he pounces on it with his jacket, ensnaring it. Shortly thereafter they return to school, pigeon in tow.
They enter their next class, and it seemed the teacher was running a little late. So, the guy decides to put the pigeon into his desk compartment. Very carefully, he releases the docile bird into his desk compartment without his classmates seeing, and closes it. The teacher enters, and begins to teach, but he just sits there, arms crossed, nothing on his table, staring at the teacher. The teacher notices, walks over to him, and the conversation goes a little something like:
“Where are your books?”
“In my desk, miss.”
“Well, get them out, please.”
“I can’t, miss.”
“Sorry? Why not?”
“Because if I open my desk, the pigeon will fly out.”
“Excuse me? Stop playing games, open your desk.”
“I can’t, or else the pigeon will fly out!”
The teacher was not amused, and the conversation went back and forth like this until eventually,
“Open your desk NOW or else you can stand outside the principal’s office for the rest of the class.”
“Okay, but I warned you.”
The guy opens his desk, and after a short second, the pigeon springs to life and shoots out of the compartment, begins frantically flying around the room, crashing into students and pooping everywhere.
“See, I told you the pigeon would get out!”
#100 False Alarm
We were in history class and taking a test so the whole room was silently working. My friend walks up to the teacher’s desk halfway through the test and asks to go to the bathroom. Innocent enough, the teacher tells him he’s free to go. So, my friend heads over to the door and walks out, but stops right in front of the glass panes in the hallway in full view and stands there.
As the door is slowly closing, this guy makes my favorite high school memory. He rips the loudest, longest flatulence I’ve ever heard, the end of which was muffled as the door fully shut. He then turns around and heads back into the room, with most of the class staring him down. As he enters, the teacher asks in the most casual tone, “Didn’t have to go after all?” My friend just says, “Nah it was a false alarm” and heads back to his desk.
It was impossible to hold back my laughter. Props to them for keeping it professional.
#101 It’s Just a Bitter-Squeak Symphony, This Life
The classroom had those desks where the chair is attached to the desk and had a metal wire book holder underneath. While sitting in this uncomfortable desk/chair abomination I accidentally slipped my shoe, wet from the outside rain, across one of the wires and made an amazing discovery. It created a really loud tuning fork-like noise.
With little hesitation, I licked my fingers to wet them and rubbed along the wires. I found a sweet spot that allowed me to make the most disruptive ringing noise I’ve ever heard. Classmates/teachers would blurt out questions like, “Is that a tornado siren?” and “Does anyone else hear that ringing?” and then I would stop for about five to 10 minutes and do it again once they forgot about that mysterious noise they heard earlier.
Eventually, I told select classmates about the noise and we composed a tune-fork desk symphony that got a teacher so enraged that she started randomly selecting kids to kick out of class one by one until she found the source of the noise. This trend carried over to other classrooms and eventually lead to the school having the custodian use wire cutters to cut the book holders off every desk-chair, not long after they had to replace them all because a student cut his leg on the sharp edges where the wires used to be.
The replacements were actual desks and chairs that weren’t bolted together. Now kids at that school do not have to sit uncomfortably thanks to my disruptive behavior. Man, I miss high school.
#102 A Certified Classic
Guy came to school wearing brown insulated overalls one day. Not too unusual, Wisconsin winters can get cold, and that particular week was around -20F. About half-way through the day during passing time I hear a commotion down the hall. As I get closer to the source of the chuckles, I see this guy strolling down the aisle with a pink “member” protruding out of the zipper in stark contrast with the brown overalls. Everybody who saw him initially had the open-mouthed look of shock until they realized that it was just his finger.
#103 The Blind Lady Watches
In high school my chemistry teacher had this morbid poster of a blind woman that read “Carol didn’t wear her safety goggles, now she doesn’t need them.” The teacher absolutely loved this poster, and one day the class clown decided to steal the poster off the wall. For the next 14 months this teacher got pictures of this poster in all sorts of places, from the wall at prom to NYC.
But the absolute best part came during the televised school announcements, a whopping seven months after the poster had been kidnapped. We all saw the poster plastered to the wall behind the news desk. This chem teacher sprinted out the door towards the broadcast room, and literally seconds before she got there a hand reached in from off camera, grabbed the poster, and it disappeared for another seven months. Probably the hardest I’ve ever laughed.
#104 You Don’t Say
I’m the only Italian teacher in my high school, so I have the same kids year after year. I have a sophomore boy who seemed to have a big revelation during class. Unfortunately for him, he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed. He said: “Oh my god, Italian is like English but a different language.” Laughed my butt off and told him he should make that his senior year yearbook quote.
#105 Mommy’s Silent but Deadly
Science class. The bully said something about a quiet kid’s mother. I winced, because only I knew the heartbreaking truth. The quiet kid’s mom was dead. The quiet kid also apparently studied boxing. Who knew? “What did you say about my mom?” WHAM. “What did you say about my mom?” WHAM. Bully was so shocked he did nothing and took the two straight punches to his face.
I don’t think the kid got in trouble, as it happened before the teacher came in.
#106 What Time Is It?
One time I woke up late for school because my alarm didn’t go off. I am incredibly blind without my contacts and just glanced at the clock and was very late. In a furious panic to try somehow make it to the bus, I put my contacts in, dunked my hair in water and grabbed my backpack and jacket as I sprinted to the bus stop.
It was the time of year where it’s dark outside well into the morning, so it was still pitch black. No one was at the bus stop, so I figured I missed. I still waited for quite some time in case it showed up. When I realized I was so late it wasn’t coming I walked back to my house, knowing I would have to wake my mom up to take me to school.
Fortunately, when I walked through the front door, she was already up and waiting for me! I thought she’d figured out what had happened, but she greeted me with, “WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!” I responded that I was sorry, but late for the bus and needed her to take me to school. She glared at me, and that’s when I realized my idiotic mistake.
It was actually something like 4 AM. I had somehow misread my alarm clock in my state of panic and tried to explain that I really did think I was late and was really at the bus stop. She just assumed I had snuck out with friends the night before and was just coming home, something I had been doing off and on for a while at that time. So, I was grounded for sneaking out, when in reality I just woke up too early to go to school.
#107 Post-Secondary Disappearance
A little over 10 years ago, the weird kid from my school went missing, they’ve never found him. Apparently, he was at a party just before graduation, got into a fight with his girlfriend, and left to walk home. They’ve extensively checked all the nearby woods, dredged the rivers and lakes, it even caught the attention of some TV “psychic.” They found his car, abandoned, but no other sign of him.
The creepiest part is how everyone in my hometown still talks about it; My psych teacher in high school used his disappearance as an example when we discussed dissociative fugue states; the town is still plastered in MISSING signs; every year they go out and search again. I always wonder if it was suicide, an accident, foul play, or if he just took off across the country.