Reserved People Finally Reveal Their Most Intimate And Personal Story
You never know what waits for you when you walk out the front door. You could lose your car keys, or you can win the lottery. Life has the tendency to throw curveballs your way. Sometimes, it can even throw more than one. Everyone has trials and tribulations that make up their character. For some, it’s easy to be open about that pesky thorn on their side. For others, it may be a bit harder to talk about what’s eating them up inside.
Being able to talk about the situation at hand can make that person feel better. While it may not automatically solve the problem, it’s one step towards finding a solution. These people were brave enough to finally discuss personal issues going on in their life. While these situations may be challenging, having a strong will get them through the storm.
#1 Trying To Hold On
I’m pretty sure I’m on the autistic spectrum—I’ve only just started piecing together things that I feel should have been more obvious when I was younger and in school. I just don’t connect to people the way I should, I’m constantly saying the wrong thing, and most of the time, I don’t even realize I’m doing it. I’m 22 and I don’t know if there’s much point in trying to investigate it now. But it’s definitely affecting my ability to hold a steady relationship or control my emotions.
#2 Starting A New Chapter
I have been diagnosed with bipolar depression and I’m doing well. The fact that I’m doing well scares me. I feel pressure to keep doing well and I depend somewhat on my boyfriend and family to continue my good streak. I am moving away from them all next year as I start a new job, so I’m going to need to find that inner strength to keep going somehow.
#3 Improvement Is Important
After a full year of being convinced I was psychotic, my psychiatrist just told me that my hallucinations are actually caused by PTSD. I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore and I’m really confused because I never considered my life as traumatic. But I’ve been thinking about my past and symptoms a lot lately and it’s starting to make sense.
However, as confused as I am, for the first time in a while I feel like I’m starting to understand myself. I no longer ask myself “what’s wrong with me?” every night, because I know the answer. And I also know that PTSD is a disorder that can be treated, so I’m not too afraid of falling deeper into a hole since I know that it’s possible to crawl back out it.
#4 Who’s Gonna Clean That?
I used to clean a small office at night. The ladies that worked there were horrible people. They would leave huge messes on purpose. I know this because if a single paper clip was out of place, there would be a gallon of gross liquid in their trash bin the next day. I got tired of their petty behavior, but I’ll admit what I did was much worse. There were three main people who did this kind of stuff so I only did it to them…
I decided to spend extra time cleaning their desks. I got my cleaning supplies and emptied out my spray bottle. I took a #2 and doubled up on gloves. I shoved it in the spray bottle, added water and shook it up. I poured my mixture on their seats and rubbed it in. I sprayed their keyboards, phones, personal items, and basically their whole cubicle area. I also hid food in their desks that would go bad and start to smell. It felt good at the time… but was it worth it?
#5 Scared To Fall In Love
I’m terrified to show romantic interest in anyone. I’ve never liked my appearance very much and it’s hard to believe people actually like me. When they do, it’s hard to reciprocate because I’ve been in so few real relationships in my life. It’s hard to see my friends be happy in their relationships especially when they ask me for advice. I have a reputation for giving good advice to people in relationships but I can’t seem to get over my own personal issues.
#6 Young Grow Old
I’m afraid to get old, but I’m not afraid to die. I just get depressed watching the world that I grew up in fade away from my view. I’m afraid to lose everything I love about the world I know, and that fear prevents me from being able to fully embrace the world of my future. I feel like I can’t live in the future because I love my time in the present. I watch everything go faster and faster as my world fades into oblivion and I can’t do anything about it.
#7 Severely Under Pressure
I love to draw but hide it from my family. Not due to shame or anything; my father loved to draw and he was the one who originally got me into it. However, my mom likes to pressure people into doing things they’re good at and it drives us all up a wall. I hide it from my family because the constant pressure causes me really bad headaches. I prefer to keep my art to myself since I can enjoy it without feeling like my mom is breathing down my neck.
#8 Every Lasting Scar
I wish I was born normal. To elaborate, I was born with Fibular Hemimelia, a very rare condition that causes one leg to develop much shorter than the other. I had over 10 surgeries to get my left leg lengthened to match my right. I also have a severe ankle deformity and was born with missing toes, a missing finger, and completely flat feet. I usually am much more positive but depression has hit again recently and I get sad about the fact that I have to live out my life in physical pain. There are so many things I wish I could do but unfortunately, I live with many limitations. I’m still embarrassed to this day about my surgery scars and how different my feet look.
#9 Still Showing Support For An Ex
My girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago, but she said that she would be willing to try again sometime when we weren’t so busy. I was assigned to write a deeply personal poem for my acting class and it had to be a love poem. I ended up writing it about her—it’s all about my frustrations, but also my pride in us for making a mature decision and the comfort I take in the fact that there could be another “us” someday.
Since then, I ended up talking to her and she’s changed her mind. She doesn’t want to try again, ever. This left me very sad and threw off a lot of things. We were supposed to hang out this weekend, but I’m not doing that anymore because I don’t her to feel like she’s forced to see me. She has some performances coming up this next week and I was going to go, but now I’m not sure if I want to go to those either.
She said she’s happier being on her own and I just don’t want to mess with it, but I’m curious to see her work because she’s really talented. I may just go and sit in the back and leave as soon as it’s over so she doesn’t have to deal with me. I have to perform my poem again in a few weeks and now it’s outdated. It’s about having hope for something later, but now she doesn’t want anything to do with me, so I’m making a bunch of bold claims that I stupidly assumed was right.
I’m just really sad because the more I think about all of it, the more I see how badly I screwed up. I just wish I could go back and fix it. I’m proud of her for doing her own thing though—she’s really talented and I’m always going to cheer her on… I just wish it could be in a more direct role. Life’s just been screwy lately and I’ve felt more and more guilty and stupid.
#10 Failing Is A Part Of Success
I’ve done hardly any revision for my GCSEs because I’m terrified of the idea of failing. Knowing that there’s the possibility of failing is scaring me from doing anything.
#11 Who Are You?
Sometimes, I’m not sure I actually know who I am. I’m unsure about everything I thought I ever wanted to do. I can’t make any decisions about my life or where I’m going. I’m always pretending—pretending to believe in things, pretending I’m not hurt by things, pretending to have goals. I don’t think there is a person in my life who I’ve been completely myself with. Not even family. Why do I do that? Somehow, I’ve managed to hit 23 and have no real friends of my own, no real idea of who I am and no idea what to do.
#12 Split Between Two People
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years now. I love him, but recently he has been going through a lot. He’s been dealing with depression, anxiety, and a ton of stuff I don’t understand. I try to help, but nothing I say works. He turned to the bottle for years and only within the last few years have I realized how bad it’s gotten. I confided in a friend and got extremely close to him. Now, I’m afraid I may be in love with him. No clue what to do. I love my husband, but I am having trouble dealing with his problems. I hate that about myself, but it makes me angry that I have to deal with them. I know it’s not his fault, but it is extremely hard for me.
#13 A Friend For Life
My best friend in the whole world was my cat. I have undiagnosed APD (auditory processing disorder) and PTSD along with a healthy dose of sleep paralysis that triggers at night and throughout the day. I was emotionally unstable at the age of six and my whole family treated me horribly for it. I struggled with friendships, so I held my connection with my cat very closely to the point that he would react to me as a professional service animal would. I don’t talk about this much because… who wants to admit the sad truth that the only friend they could rely on was their pet cat?
#14 Father Of Mine
I’ve cut ties with my dad who is currently homeless and lives in his car. I see him from time to time because we live in the same town. He has a full-time job and makes decent money, but he insists that he lives in his car. During the wintertime, I really get worried about him. It messes me up whenever I see him, so much so that I even try to avoid him.
I don’t even know why I act like this towards him. I’m not sure if I’m ready to let him move into my house because I really couldn’t stand living with him when I was growing up with him. Not only that, but I share the house with my younger brother and there isn’t much free space. Our parents fought every day, and I can’t blame my dad for everything, but he would screw things up financially and have weird habits that would irritate all of us. I should just be the bigger man and let him in.
#15 Wanting A New Career Path
I’m afraid I’m gonna be stuck at my job for the rest of my life because I don’t know what else I’m good at. It’s not a bad job but it doesn’t really pay great and the hours are odd. It’s not really something I want to be doing for too much longer but I don’t know what else to do.
#16 Single And Not Willing To Mingle
People ask why I’m single and I tell them because I’m too busy or have no time. But the truth is, I don’t know what a healthy relationship looks like. I always self-sabotage or do something wrong when I start seeing someone, so it never really ends well. I prefer to be alone since at least I don’t get hurt.
#17 Career Down The Drain
I’m 3.5 years into the career I dreamed about as a child and I can’t stand it anymore. I have no backup plan and I feel guilty that so many people I cared about cheered me on to follow my dreams. The field is graphic design and I’ve just started working at my third company. What I am most struggling with is the work we are assigned to do—it’s dull subject matter and all creativity is sucked out by client amendments. Throughout all the companies, the design team is villainized by the more client-facing roles and sales teams, with their team leaders often accusing us of insubordination for trying to uphold the brand guidelines. We work long extra hours with no reimbursement or praise and I’m really feeling the burnout.
#18 The Perfect Match
I got a call from Be the Match (the national bone marrow donor registry) on Friday. It seems I came up as a possible match for a nine-year-old boy with leukemia. I just finished signing consent forms and filling out the medical questionnaire today, and I have some further testing to confirm the match later this week.
#19 Kids Can Be A Handful
I’m 24 and I have a three-year-old daughter. Her mother is a nurse in an elderly home, so she has to work all the time and I look after our daughter for the majority of the time. I love her very much, but I just don’t have that much energy and I find it incredibly hard to keep her entertained.
#20 Stop, Look And Listen
I’m so used to people not listening to what I say or just like cutting me off that I’ve taken on the habit of stopping to talk myself. As in, when I want to tell a story or something like that, I start and then end up being like, “Yeah, but that’s just useless and nobody cares.” I’ll stop midway through my story even when people are actually listening.
#21 Soup For The Soul
When I was 18 years old, I used to only eat low-calorie chicken noodle soup for lunch every day. Sometimes, I would throw it up. I only ate extremely small portions and dropped down to around 110 lbs ( I am almost 5’8). Then, when I was 24 years old, I got a serving job that was very busy and stressful that I would often “forget” meals and whatnot. Anyway, now I weigh 155lbs and I feel like a fat whale, but at least I am eating normally.
#22 You’ve Got A Friend In Me
It’s kind of embarrassing, but I really wish I had friends. I’ve always had acquaintances but I don’t have a best friend. I crave it like most people crave romantic companionship. People out there are always searching for “the one” and I’m honestly just looking for a best friend who I can talk to freely and laugh with. I often find myself wishing that I had one good friend who I could show new music to and gossip with.
I’m somewhat anti-social, but I’ve still tried to find someone like that. While I get along with just about everyone I meet, I still haven’t found my ride-or-die. It’s pretty embarrassing to admit. Also, for anyone who’s seen the movie, I Love You Man, I feel just like Paul Rudd’s character. I’ve never told anyone this. The worst part is, as I get older, the harder it is to meet new people. I may be running out of time.
#23 Living The Best Life
I’m 16 years old and even though my life isn’t bad at all, I’ve been daydreaming a lot lately about running away from home, somehow getting a good job, making new friends and going out every night. I picture an alternate reality where I’m constantly shopping for clothes, getting mushy with a girlfriend and looking out into the city lights from a hill or bridge (preferably where the ocean is in view too) at night time.
#24 Practice Makes Perfect
I practice facial expressions so that my reactions to things seem more genuine. I’m not a psychopath, I’m just often a bit deadpan or it takes my brain a second to catch up to what was actually said, by which point a genuine reaction is rather late. So I predict them and perform the reactions at the right time by practicing.
#25 Plenty More Fish In The Sea
After years of vicious self-loathing, I found someone who I click with. We went on a couple of dates and I was very excited to see where things could go, but she just now told me that her interests do not go beyond that of a platonic nature. It didn’t last very long, however, I can’t help but feel crushed. My social life, especially the romantic part, has never been stellar by any means. I hoped this would be different but it wasn’t, and even though I know it is completely ridiculous to feel this upset over someone I hardly know, this is how I feel. I sincerely hope this feeling will pass very soon.
#26 Just Kidding Around
I’ve known my best friend since we were four or five. He’s 23 and I’m 22, so I consider him and his parents as my family. His mom and stepdad decided to have another baby and when this little guy was about four years old, he clung to me., We just clicked instantly. I’ve worked with kids since I was young and now teach martial arts to kids professionally, so I’ve always had a great way of connecting with kids.
Anyway, the little dude is eight years old now and no one is more happy to see me than him. He runs and jumps into my arms when I come over. Last Saturday, I took him to work with me and we both loved it. Some people might think it’s weird, but they can go away. I love this kid to the moon and back! It’s so amazing to feel complete love, trust, and admiration from this kiddo.
#27 Family In The Works
We’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while. I didn’t think it would take this long. Everyone I know is having babies or announcing a second kid. I’m happy for them, but I feel like it further convinced me that something is wrong with me.
#28 Do You Hear What I Hear?
I recently realized that I have tinnitus, and have had it for most, if not all, of my life. I always thought that high-pitched ringing sound was normal, and have learned to tune it out. I really only become aware of it when it’s very quiet. Since realizing what it was, I’ve realized that it’s a major contributor to my inability to hear people at times when coupled with other white noises. What I think is happening in my brain can’t process so many sounds at once. I recently ordered some earplugs that supposedly help, fingers crossed.
#29 Some Serious Role Playing
I live, 80% of my time, in a vast fantasy world of my making where I am the youngest daughter of a famous actress. In this fantasy, I am more beautiful, smart, and successful than any of my contemporaries. I am rich and desirable. Men and women alike want me. I speak multiple languages and have multiple skills. In this fantasy, depending on how I’m feeling, I’m married or dating a number of incredibly famous older Hollywood men.
Saved to my computer are paint-program weddings, homes, and children. I’m so committed to this fantasy that my character even has quirks depending on what scenario we’re in. For example, my character is a severe diabetic with one kidney. I don’t know why. She also has a temper. For a long time, she had another name but recently I updated the name to something new.
Her face and body have always remained the same. I spend most of my time in this world. I can even live my life while simultaneously maintaining the fantasy. I can literally be two people at once. And my teddy bear plays a large part in this fantasy, usually as a child or some sort of friend to the main character. I’ve never told anyone this. Not even my therapist.
#30 Not So Funny
I’m tired of being the funny guy. I’ve always struggled with insecurities and make up for it by being a funny and weird guy. I don’t know how to talk openly about my feelings, and I never needed to anyway because my dearest friend knows everything about me. However, he now has his life and less time to dedicate to me, which I understand fully.
Now, I have the tendency to be angry around my family and friends, but most of the time, I still manage to hide it behind a joke so it doesn’t show. I begin to look like a lost child with my girlfriend every time I have a little frustration or any doubt, and to make things worse, as I’m scared to the point of panic about losing her. Every time I don’t look “like a manly man,” I lose even more confidence. I don’t know how to let off steam and it’s really tiring.
#31 She’s Got The Look
My family puts a ton of emphasis on good looks. I was always fit and in good shape until my last baby three years ago. She was my fourth. Everything changed. Now, no matter how clean I eat or how much I exercise, I just seem to hold onto weight. I’ve had every test under the sun but my doctor says I’m healthy and this is just my body now, attributing the changes to hormones, age, and childbearing.
I’m an”average American woman” with diastasis recti (separated abdominal muscles) and my family says things like, “I’m sorry your kids ruined you, you were so pretty.” It really messes me up and my self-esteem is practically in the toilet. My mother even gives me her old jeans and when I tell her there is no way I will fit in them (she’s a size two and I’m a size 12), she tells me “You will one day when you really want to lose the weight.”
I try very hard to overcome my insecurities for my daughters. I don’t want them to have the same body image issues but most days I just wish I could hide from the world, completely ashamed of this new version of myself.
#32 Confession At Prom
A girl that I liked said “I love you” to me at prom and I awkwardly stood there, hesitating. I’m already terrible at talking to other humans, and then she throws that stuff at me? After a long enough silence, I just walked away at the first chance I got because my brain couldn’t think of anything else to do or say.
#33 I Need A Hero
Most people who become volunteer firefighters or E.M.Ts do it because they want to help people. I did it because my family couldn’t afford to send me to any college other than the community college in my town that offers nothing else.
#34 The Grind Is Real
I was in special ed growing up. I had a C- average in school and I never graduated high school. I am now 35 with two Bachelors degrees from a low-ranking state school, a Masters degree that is not widely recognized, and I managed to get accepted into an unranked law school with a plan to get a Ph.D. after law school.
I’m pretty sure I am just doing it all to try to prove to myself that I’m not as stupid as I think I am. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, but now I’m even more of a disappointment because I’ve wasted so much money on an education that I don’t know how to use. I am just feeling lost..l maybe I am just as stupid as they said I am.
#11 Cold As Ice?
I hate everything uncomfortable. Like, being around people that are angry, or sick, or sad, because I don’t know what to say or do. I’d rather flee than be involved. If I am sad, angry, or sick myself I tend to just go into myself, without really talking with others… Not even my best friend or close family. I’m very introverted, but still, I love being around people. Why was I made like this? It’s so frustrating.
#36 Take The Wheel And Drive
A little over a year ago, I lost control of my car because I fell asleep at the wheel and ended up going down an embankment. I totaled the car and I never got hurt, but it hasn’t been the same since. I mean, I still drive around town when I want to go get something from the store, but I don’t drive myself to work anymore or anywhere that’s not within 30 minutes of my house. I feel like I’ve lost some of the freedom I once had.
#37 A Heartbreaking Rejection
Last night I got an email from Chapman, my dream school that I’d been waiting for months to know if I got into their TV Writing and Production Major. When I saw the email, it felt like my heart was going to burst through my chest. The pounding was so hard. I looked at my applicant status page and once I saw “I’m sorry to regret,” my hopes were crushed. I read it over and over again somehow hoping the verdict would change the next time I’d read it. I texted my parents I didn’t get in and I couldn’t muster the strength to answer their calls. I cried in the shower.
#38 Stuck In A Rut
I feel like everyone outside of my family hates me because I’ve said some rude things to a few of them in the past and have been pretty insensitive. It was mostly because they did something to provoke me in the past, but I don’t know how to change. It’s one of those things I feel like I’m never going to figure out.
#39 Let’s Get Married
I really want to marry the guy I’m dating. We only started dating in February but I secretly fantasize about him proposing by the end of the year because it’s really going that well. I have never in my life wanted to have kids, but I would gladly raise one or two of his children. He is such a wonderful person and there should be mini versions of him on this earth.
#40 Losing Precious Memories
I was evicted from my childhood home when I was 15. My mom couldn’t keep the place up by herself after my brother moved out. She didn’t know what to tell me, so she didn’t. She had me take a bag with me when we went to my stepdad’s for a weekend over the summer. One weekend turned into two weeks, which turned into a month, and then an entire summer. Finally, she told me what had happened–we lost everything because she had gambled away all our money. I ended up having to sleep on stepdad’s living room sofa for two years.
It’s one thing to have lost my material belongs that can be replaced like my computer or video game consoles, but I lost irreplaceable things like the memory box that I started when I was 7, my childhood photos, and all the dolls my dad had given me throughout the years. My dad has been gone five years now, and those dolls are something that I wish I could have saved
#41 Love Is A Battlefield
I’m in love with my best friend. She thinks I just have a small crush on her, but that’s so far from the truth. I’m insanely in love with her. I wake up and I think about her. When I’m with her, I feel amazing, and when I go without seeing her for a while, I genuinely really miss her. To me, she is one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. She’s sweet, funny, and her unbridled passion is contagious.
She’s also easily one of the prettiest girls I’ve ever met. She makes me want to actually do stuff instead of just taking up space. She already rejected me once, so I had to make a decision. Did I risk asking her again, or did I just tell myself to be happy with what I have? Well… I ended up not doing it. I don’t know how long I can continue as just friends… I want something more, but I know she both doesn’t want to give more and literally can’t since she is always so busy and stressed with her work.
I know she will eventually get a boyfriend and that will utterly crush me. I feel awful about that because as a friend, I feel like I should be happy for her. But as someone who is in love with her, I want nothing more than for her to say yes to me. Honestly, if she even felt a quarter of what I feel for him, then we would be together and maybe even marry someday. I’ve never felt this way about someone and I have to live with the pain that she does not feel the same. It’s just unrequited love. The worst part is, I don’t even think there is anything I can do to change her mind about how she feels about me.
#42 Another Mouth To Feed
My girlfriend’s brother moved in with us the day before Thanksgiving, after getting diagnosed with ALS. We are his only support network since he alienated family and never really planned for any kind of future. He is now broke at 50 and leaning on us heavily for not only daily needs but managing the calls with insurance, doctors, etc. At first, I was happy to help, but I’ve grown bitter at having an adult child take up my personal space with a heavy dose of entitlement and very little appreciation for what we do for him. That bitterness is tempered when I see the challenges he faces every day, but man do I have to work hard to squash it at times.
#43 Seeing Is Believing
I have cataracts. The one in my left eye is getting worse. It’s like my eye is coated with vaseline. The right eye is still okay but it’s only a matter of time. We can’t afford the surgery right now. The problem is that the longer you wait, the harder the surgery is. I’m terrified of the surgery but more afraid of losing my sight.
#44 Comedy Is Hard
I’ve always wanted to be a comedy writer, but I just can’t seem to get any form of a break. I know it’s an extremely difficult line of work to get into and I’m not sure if I have it in me. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even funny enough. Oh well. Gotta keep trying.
#45 A Withering Bank Account
I am slowly drowning due to financial strains. I am in a construction union and keep calling looking for work, but constantly get the, “I’ll have work in a couple of weeks, call me back” treatment. I’m trying my best, but it’s difficult.