October 21, 2019 | Casey Fletcher

Introverts Share The Things That Immediately Drain Their Social Battery


Malls, loud bars, social gatherings, weddings. If you're an introvert, you likely avoid situations like these as much as possible. You're more comfortable one-on-one with a close friend, at a party where you know everyone, or in deep conversation with someone who just gets you. But unfortunately, that's not always the case. Sometimes, an introvert will find themselves in a situation where they're surrounded by things—loud music, crowds, open-concept office spaces, extroverted people—that drain their social battery. These introverts share the everyday situations that leave them socially exhausted.

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#1 Tell Me About Yourself

Job interviews, especially when they are longer than 30 minutes.

#2 You Going Out This Weekend?

Hair salon. I have long hair so I’m there from one to three hours depending on the service I’m having done. I force myself to talk to my hair stylist so they don't get bored. I try to do my best one-on-one with people and talk about something meaningful instead of chit-chat.

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#3 I'll Be at The Kids Table if You Need Me

Sitting at a long table at an event. I always end up at the end where there are more people I dont know, and it’s too awkward to get up and stand down near the end where I do know people or shout across other people to make conversation.

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#4 I, Uh, Don't Know What I Do

When any elderly family members ask you what do you in life and you don't know what to say back because you have so much anxiety, so you just make something up on the spot.

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#5 Can We Go Home Now?

IKEA. Especially with someone who just wants to meander idly around. I don't even know why, but I get about half an hour into an IKEA trip and I get flashes back to a childhood spent largely being dragged by my parents around that blue-and-yellow Swedish hellscape.

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#6 Can't I Just Order Online?

Grocery shopping. For whatever reason, that's the bane of my existence. I hate feeling like I'm holding up the line and feeling like people judge me for every purchase I make. Then, I look awkward bagging the groceries and taking them home. I legitimately almost only go grocery shopping when it's dark and raining so that nobody is there. I've gone days without eating anything because I was too anxious about going.

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#7 These all Bug Me

Here's a few: Screaming kids, screaming adults; people who play loud music in public; large gatherings of people; full busses and subways; people who try to interact with you even though you're wearing headphones.

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#8 No Yelling

Anyone yelling at me, I just blackout and then have no idea what I said back. The same goes with family gatherings. I get so anxious that I just start blabbering but have no idea what I was just talking about. And then afterwards, I feel so tired, like I've just done heavy labor.

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#9 Sorry for Making Small Talk!

When seemingly benign topics of conversation set people off into outraged rants about how everything is a conspiracy or how everyone is out to screw them over. And every time you either disagree with them or try to clarify your point, they double down and catastrophize even more. I mean, sorry for making small talk.

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#10 I'd Rather Be Home

Corporate functions. I'm on the spectrum but I've learned how to talk my way through over the years. I manage several teams and honestly, they don't need much managing. They're awesome at what they do, so I let them run pretty much autonomously. I just clear roadblocks. But in live group functions, it takes so much effort to be on the spot... it's just so draining.

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#11 I'll Stay Home, Thanks

Wife: "My friend is inviting her husband out to lunch. I want you to meet him." I went, and I called in sick the next day because I didn’t get my alone time on my scheduled day off.

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#12 Un-Invite Me

Wedding days.

#13 Can I Just Get Back to Work Now?

Mandatory team-building exercises at work. I have nothing against my co-workers. They are nice people and I like them enough to make chit chat with them, but I do not like them enough to do some stupid team-building activity that just wastes time and is nowhere near as fun as the organizer wants it to be.

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#14 I'm Trying to Recharge!

When my social battery is running low, I try to leave the room in order to recharge and breathe. But then, people insist that I stay or make a comment about how “I am such an introvert because I’m always leaving." It instantly kills whatever intention I had of coming back. It’s irritating being called out like that.

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#15 Anyone Can Relate

Anywhere where there is loud noise or a lot of noise.

#16 Are You Really That Happy?

An overly happy person. It's exhausting when they're so overly happy to the point that you think they are either faking it or you wonder if they are actually that happy.

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#17 Tip, Please

Waitresses flirting for tips.

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#18 Beware September 1st

First day of a new school.

#19 This Place Drains My Soul

Going to Walmart. Specifically Walmart and only Walmart. That place drains my very soul. I can go in happy, energetic, and social and leave wanting to scream in the parking lot while yelling at whoever was unlucky enough to come with me.

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#20 Sensory Overload

Malls. I hate malls.

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#21 Not Again

Listening to someone boast. Being on the receiving end of an extrovert monologuing in a social situation where I need to play along and be friendly is exhausting.

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#22 What About Me?

When you're at a party where everyone else knows each other.

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#23 Not Another Party

Large parties or anywhere with booming music and drunk people.

#24 Please Not This Again

If I have to go through this script many more times, I might jump in front of a train. Let's all just nod and grunt instead?

Me: "Hi, how are you?"

Person: "Fine. You?"

Me: "I'm fine."

Person: "Man sure is hot outside."

Me: "Yeah. Supposed to be 200 degrees tomorrow. Look out!"

Person: "That's hot."

Person: "Yeah."

Me: "See you later."

Person: "Have a good one."

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#25 No More Small Talk, Please

Having to engage in small talk really wears me down. Like two sentences in and I’m exhausted. I love deep conversations but small talk just kills my soul.

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#26 Not-So-Helpful Advice

"Helpful advice" that is really just a bunch of judgements of your life choices in disguise. Also, any conversation where someone starts suggesting that an essential oil blend will solve all my problems. Oh, and all interactions with my mother-in-law.

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#27 No Confrontation Here

Arguments can drain me from 100% to 0% real fast. Confrontation, in general, I would say is my archnemesis. It's even worse when the argument is a pointless one.

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#28 Yes, I Talk A Lot

Someone commenting on how much you talk. It's either, "Wow, you're talkative today," or, "X is quiet today." It's like, "I was comfortable until you started treating me like an animal in a zoo."

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#29 I'm Sorry, What Were You Saying?

One-sided conversations. The first moment they talk over me or interrupt and don't say, "I'm sorry I interrupted. What were you saying?" That drains my battery instantly.

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#30 Not Another

Family gatherings.

#31 I'm Not Your Grandma

When the really sweet, fast-talking 13-year-old girl across the street sees me out front and comes over with yet another little bracelet she has made for me. I don't hear well (in addition to being an introvert) and her chirpy little voice is incomprehensible. I don't want to be rude to her and would not hurt her feelings for anything in the world, but I don't want to be her grandma so it's very stressful.

#32 Awkward Convos

"How's school going?" Honorable mention goes to: "Do you have a girlfriend yet?"

#33 It Pays the Bills

Work. Customer service has made my skin crawl since day one, but it pays the bills.

#34 I'd Rather be Home

Going to any store when it’s packed.

#35 This Conversation

Friend: "Hey let’s get a drink, just you and me."

Me: "Sure."

At the pub: "Oh, when I said 'just you and me' I actually meant 'you, me and my friend from university that you don't know, but with whom I go way back with and will talk to all night while ignoring you.'"

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#36 Don't Invite Other People

Unexpected people at a gathering or many people coming and going. My in-laws seem to always have lots of random people living with them, and you truly never know who’s going to be at their house until you walk in the door. My mother-in-law also tends to bring random people with her when she's invited over. She'll say, "Well, they were at the house when we left and they wanted to come too.” I hate having unexpected strangers in my house. It instantly takes away the feeling of it being my safe zone.

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#37 Leave Me Be

"Why are you shy?" and, "Why don't you talk?" Thanks for the awards.

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#38 Just Let Me Sleep

Anything after work. Work is draining enough.

#39 Can't We Just All Sit in Silence?

My Children's friends' parties. Forced interaction with all my kid's friends' parents drains me.

#40 Can Someone Else Do This?

One on one interaction where I’m sort of in charge. Any time I’m leading around a new hire or intern at work and I need to take them around all day or take them to lunch, etc., it's exhausting. Being on point and being responsible for another person’s experience of their day is just so much pressure.

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#41 What Am I Supposed to Do Here?

Running into an old friend that you’ve grown distant from. Like, do we acknowledge each other and have a full-on conversation or do we just do the head nod and move on?

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#42 Please No

"Let's go around the room and everyone say a little something about themselves!"

#43 Where Did All of These People Come From?

Going to places and then more people being there than I expected. Just a couple of days ago, I had plans for two friends and I to just chill at my house. Somehow, I got roped into going somewhere else with six people. I spent most of the time hanging back on my phone.

#44 Mumble Mumble

Definitely when you can’t get your words into a conversation. You make an honest effort to be more outward but people talk over you and you just give up.

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#45 Wedding Disaster

Going along to an event as a "plus one" and having to make small talk with all of my friend’s friends.


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